Doctors, Nurses, and teachers make a great contribution to society and should be payed more than entertainment and sport celebrities. Do you agree or disagree ?

#doctors #nurses #teachers #contribution #society #entertainment #sport #celebrities

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is believed that entertainers and sports stars should be paid less than other special occupations

such

Linking Words

doctors

Use synonyms

nurses

Use synonyms

, and teachers because they greatly contribute to society.

While

Linking Words

I understand these highly skilled individuals should get a better rate for their jobs, I would argue

this

Linking Words

would be far more disadvantageous. On the one hand, there are two main reasons why they should be well-paid. The first reason is that educators or general practitioners in some parts of the world just make ends meet

although

Linking Words

they spend lots of money and devote their entire time just to be qualified.

As a result

Linking Words

, low salary packages can discourage them from totally concentrating on their job and contributing to the community. The second reason is that if sports celebrities earn less money,

this

Linking Words

will less appeal to young people and encourage them to choose to be

nurses

Use synonyms

doctors

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, I believe raising salaries for

doctors

Use synonyms

nurses

Use synonyms

and teachers will have two drawbacks.

Firstly

Linking Words

, increasing the pay rate would result in a higher fee for health care or education, which can make it less possible for the poor to be able to access those services.

As a result

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

would encourage more people to commit crimes

due to

Linking Words

a lack of access to education and health care.

Secondly

Linking Words

, as it is the nature of work, celebrities make more money

due to

Linking Words

their hard work and talents to entertain the audience. In conclusion, though

doctors

Use synonyms

nurses

Use synonyms

and teachers make a huge contribution to the well-being of citizens, I believe raising salaries would lead to more negatives.

Submitted by ledinhan168 on Sun Nov 05 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout the essay.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your writing.

grammatical range

Pay closer attention to sentence structure and grammar.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

contribution
essential
well-being
education
training
dedication
entertain
inspire
significant
exorbitant
attract
talented
professions
improve
overall
quality
healthcare
priority
development
citizens

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Since traffic is such a problem in modern cities, private cars should not be allowed in city centres. Discuss the arguments for and against this statement. What do you think we should do about the problem of traffic in city centres?
There is no doubt that these days many cities are suffering from traffic, which is a modern issue. Traffic in the middle of cities is the most popular problem in a lot of cities. The question is, should the government prevent cars in the city center? This essay will argue that governments ought to block cars in the middle of the city because the traffic will lead to many accidents that will damage people,shops, and animals.
7.5
band
More than half of the world’s population now lives in urban areas. The rapid growth of cities in some parts of the world is bringing all kinds of social, economic, and environmental problems. Describe some of these problems and suggest possible solutions. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.
The expansion of cities resulted in many problems considering the fact that nowadays a vast amount of the population lives in urban regions. This essay will contend to notice some possible problems due to urbanization ,and finding convenient resolution for that matter.
6.5
band
Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?
Many people often advocate what subjects or courses should be taught in schools. A section of these people insists that subjects like craft, music and drama should be made as imperative as other subjects from the elementary level. Learning these practical subjects improves students’ intellectual skills and hone their skills for a bright future.
7
band
Some people think that it is best to save money, for example in a bank or savings scheme. Other people feel that money should be spent whenever it is available. Discuss these views and reach an opinion on this debate.
In the plethora of communities, it is thought that the majority of people prefer to save their finances in a bank or savings account as their best option to manage their funds. Meanwhile, others assume that spending money on necessities is a preferable choice. In this issue, I will explain clearly and in the following paragraphs, I will shed light on numerous reasons to support both views.
6.5
band
In some countries in Europe, some children from the age of 11 or 13 go to schools to learn more practical skills that will help them get a job. Other children stay in schools which provide a more general academic education. What should schools do to prepare students for the world of work? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Education is a fundamental knowledge that all pupils must learn in school. However, it gives an opportunity to get a secure job and creates a business in the future in the Europe countries. Although many think few can adopt practical skills, others stay in school to gain theoretical study. This essay will provide the best answer with valid reasons for what should to prepare the education system for the world better in the following paragraphs.

Doctors, Nurses, and teachers make a great contribution to society and should be payed more than entertainment and sport celebrities. Do you agree or disagree ?

Fully explain your ideas

Since traffic is such a problem in modern cities, private cars should not be allowed in city centres. Discuss the arguments for and against this statement. What do you think we should do about the problem of traffic in city centres?

Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that it is best to save money, for example in a bank or savings scheme. Other people feel that money should be spent whenever it is available. Discuss these views and reach an opinion on this debate.