Doctors, Nurses, and teachers make a great contribution to society and should be payed more than entertainment and sport celebrities. Do you agree or disagree ?

It is believed that entertainers and sports stars should be paid less than other special occupations
such
as
doctors
,
nurses
, and teachers because they greatly contribute to society.
While
I understand these highly skilled individuals should get a better rate for their jobs, I would argue
this
would be far more disadvantageous. On the one hand, there are two main reasons why they should be well-paid. The first reason is that educators or general practitioners in some parts of the world just make ends meet
although
they spend lots of money and devote their entire time just to be qualified.
As a result
, low salary packages can discourage them from totally concentrating on their job and contributing to the community. The second reason is that if sports celebrities earn less money,
this
will less appeal to young people and encourage them to choose to be
nurses
or
doctors
.
On the other hand
, I believe raising salaries for
doctors
,
nurses
and teachers will have two drawbacks.
Firstly
, increasing the pay rate would result in a higher fee for health care or education, which can make it less possible for the poor to be able to access those services.
As a result
,
this
would encourage more people to commit crimes
due to
a lack of access to education and health care.
Secondly
, as it is the nature of work, celebrities make more money
due to
their hard work and talents to entertain the audience. In conclusion, though
doctors
,
nurses
and teachers make a huge contribution to the well-being of citizens, I believe raising salaries would lead to more negatives.
Submitted by ledinhan168 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout the essay.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your writing.
grammatical range
Pay closer attention to sentence structure and grammar.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • contribution
  • essential
  • well-being
  • education
  • training
  • dedication
  • entertain
  • inspire
  • significant
  • exorbitant
  • attract
  • talented
  • professions
  • improve
  • overall
  • quality
  • healthcare
  • priority
  • development
  • citizens
What to do next:
Look at other essays: