Some people say that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad. Others, however, say that life for the elderly nowadays is much better than it was in the past. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There
people
Add a missing verb
are people
show examples
who believe that in
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
world,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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life
for elderly
people
is entirely bad,
whereas
, some
people
think the opposite, that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
for the elderly nowadays is much better than it was in the past. I believe that
are
Correct pronoun usage
there are
show examples
pros and cons when we compare the
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
of older
people
today
and
in
Correct determiner usage
those in
show examples
the past.
However
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
overall
, I agree with the second idea, that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
nowadays is much better for
this
age group.
The
Correct article usage
Life
show examples
life
today
for older
people
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
sometimes can be very
stressfull
Correct your spelling
stressful
and hard to follow owing to the current
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
,
meanly
Rephrase
mainly
show examples
in the medium and big cities.
For instance
, a lot of elderly
peolple
Correct your spelling
people
have
difficult
Replace the word
difficulty
show examples
to use
Change the verb form
using
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common technology in everyday
life
,
such
as mobile
phone
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phones
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and microwave
oven
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ovens
show examples
. Another example is
management
Correct article usage
the management
show examples
a
Change preposition
of a
show examples
bank account, which nowadays is
enterily
Correct your spelling
entirely
on line
Correct your spelling
online
show examples
and by automatic services.
On the other hand
,
today
there are more
facillities
Correct your spelling
facilities
for elderly
people
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
ever, like in health and education, that
become
Verb problem
make
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
easier in some aspects. Everybody can study online and obtain any information in a matter of seconds,
by
Change preposition
via
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Internet tools, using the Google or
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Youtube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
show examples
,
for example
.
I
Correct your spelling
In
show examples
this
way, elderly
people
can learn a lot of useful things
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
everyday
life
and
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
emergency situations. Concerning
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
issues,
today
there are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
several advances and evolutions in
medice
Correct your spelling
medicine
that improve the quality of
life
and extend the
expectation
Fix the agreement mistake
expectations
show examples
of
life
. In conclusion, I believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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currently
life
is strongly better
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
getting old than ever, because of the evolution
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
technology and
medice
Correct your spelling
medicine
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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help the
life
quality and
increasing
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
longevity.
Submitted by fmulato on

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Introduction and Conclusion
Provide a clear and concise thesis statement in your introduction. This will help the reader understand your position on the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your ideas logically and present them in a clear and coherent manner. Use linking words and transitional phrases to connect your ideas.
Lexical Resource
Expand your range of vocabulary by using more precise and varied words and phrases. Aim for accuracy and avoid repetition.
Grammatical Range
Focus on improving your sentence structure and grammar. Pay attention to verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and sentence complexity.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • elderly
  • modern world
  • decline
  • physical
  • mental health
  • diseases
  • disabilities
  • social isolation
  • loneliness
  • access
  • healthcare
  • medications
  • lifelong learning
  • personal growth
  • social support
  • community engagement
  • positive aspects
  • negative aspects
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