It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal life. Does the advantages outweighs the disadvantages.
There is a consensus that taking agendas which contain risks should be done in both sectors namely personal and professional lives.
Although
,
it has merits and demerits, I strongly argue that its positive implications are more Remove the comma
apply
massivs
than its disadvantages. To explain Correct your spelling
massive
this
choosen
preference, I will elucidate my perspective in the following paragraphs.
Correct your spelling
chosen
To begin
with, making hard decisions which have impacts will be beneficial due to
it can lead us Change preposition
because
into
wide connections and good relationships with our relatives. Change preposition
to
For example
, I did double occupations which could give me work stress and always suggested to my internal ecosystems required occassions which should be implemented while
it can distract the constructed connection between us. Consequently
, at this
moment, I have couple
of professional networks and internal support systems Change the article
a couple
such
as family always consider some suggested points.
On the other hand
, making options which have massive implications should be concentrated appropriately. Without implementing it, a number of negative effects will exist. This
perspective often motivates people to hold status
quo Correct article usage
the status
due to
they do not want to lose anything achivements
which have been acquired. To illustrate, some of my workmates always stay in their recent jobs. Correct your spelling
achievements
As a consequence
, they face a lack of opportunities to expand their capabilities. Moreover
, they always maintain their chemistry with their internal people without giving reccommendations
which can be distractors Correct your spelling
recommendations
for
the built connectivity.
Change preposition
from
To conclude
, holding status
quo or pursuing opportunities Correct article usage
the status
which have
significant results. Wrong verb form
has
Nevertheless
, leaving a comfortable
zone by choosing chances which have risks will have meaningful aspects namely having Replace the word
comfort
wide
career and Add an article
a wide
stay
connected with relatives positively.Wrong verb form
staying
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task response
Your response addresses the task question, but it lacks clear organization and focus on the advantages outweighing the disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
The essay has an introduction and conclusion, but the organizational structure could be improved for better coherence.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is adequate, but there is room for improvement in terms of variety and precision.
grammatical range
Your range of grammar structures is satisfactory, but there are some errors that affect the clarity of your ideas.