Some argue that music mainly serves as a way for individuals to reduce their stress and anxiety. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#argue #music #individuals #stress #anxiety

There is no doubt that most

people

argue that

melody

is an essential technique for each person in order to relieve not only their feelings of fear and worry but

also

their strain. On

this

topic, I strongly agree, as I suppose that there are two factors related to

this

issue, which I will inform you of in the following paragraphs.

Firstly

music

is one of

Correct article usage

the method

show examples

method

Fix the agreement mistake

methods

show examples

that can stimulate the nerves to be more calm, delightful and relaxed

while

every person obtains

high-pressure

Correct your spelling

high pressure

show examples

during their hectic jobs or activities.

For instance

, after working office

hour

Fix the agreement mistake

hours

show examples

, there are numerous

people

listen

Correct pronoun usage

who listen

show examples

music

while

using public transportation in order to release

tensions

Fix the agreement mistake

tension

show examples

In addition

, a number of students who ought to accomplish their final project or thesis

that they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

prefer to sing a song during break time. All of

this

technique is an experiment to release high tension and pressure after getting hectic activity.

Secondly

, in leisure time, some

people

prefer to attend a

music

concert in order to make their minds more comfortable. In

the

Correct article usage

show examples

live

music

concert, they can sing a song loudly

that

Correct word choice

and

show examples

they will be more enjoyable after getting rid of fatigue.

On the other hand

, a number of

people

also

like to listen to

classical

Add an article

the classical

a classical

show examples

Fix the agreement mistake

melodies

show examples

melody

Fix the agreement mistake

melodies

show examples

which will hypnotize a person in terms of convenience.

This

reason since instrumental equipment

such

as piano and violin can convey a magical strain of

melody

which will create

comfortable

Add an article

a comfortable

the comfortable

show examples

situation

Change preposition

for

show examples

the audience. By way of conclusion, I am really convinced that

music

is an essential way to retrieve and reduce stress and anxiety.

Therefore

music

can convey a magical and beautiful

melody

and sound that will help

community

Add an article

the community

show examples

become more enjoyable and pleasant.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Mon Nov 06 2023

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introduction conclusion

Include a clear thesis statement in the introduction that outlines your position on the topic.

coherence cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supports your main points effectively.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to avoid errors.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some argue that music mainly serves as a way for individuals to reduce their stress and anxiety. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

2) Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, teamwork is in fashion in the workplace and many people working with a group of people. What are the advantages and disadvantages teamwork brings to people who prefer to do so?

Some people say that protecting the environment is the government’s responsibility. Others believe that every individual's responsibility for it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries today in cities either live alone or in small family units, rather than in large extended family groups. Is this a positive or negative trend?