Some people think that the increasing use of computer and mobile phones nowadays has unwanted effects on the young people reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some people believe that the increasing use of technology in today's world has unwanted effects on young people's reading and writing skills. I strongly agree that can affect young
individuals
' reading and writing skills. In
this
day and age,
youngers
Correct your spelling
youngsters
show examples
are used to writing and reading on their electronic devices
such
as computers or mobile phones.
Teenagers
read social
media
stories of celebrities or of their
friends
instead
of digital books that can enrich their minds. Reading celebrities' or
friends
' social
media
makes
teenagers
compare their lives with others.
Therefore
, can lead young
individuals
to sadness and depression if they do not feel that their life is as exciting as the other
individuals
.
For example
, a friend of mine when he was younger, was reading
friends
' social
media
comparing his life with others' lives.
This
led him to a deep depression and almost committed suicide. Therapy and stopping reading
friends
' social
media
was key to his recovery. Using short vocabulary
while
they communicate with electronic devices can affect negatively
teenagers
' writing. One of the unwanted effects they can have using
for example
mobile phones' chats is to develop more mistakes in formal writing.
The young
Correct article usage
Young
show examples
individuals
can get used to writing on their phones using
this
short vocabulary, making them unable to recognize the right vocabulary in formal writing in high school
while
they are learning.
For instance
, one person I know when she was a teenager was communicating constantly by her mobile phone.
In addition
,
this
made her perform poorly when she was facing an exam, making a lot of mistakes that led to a low score in many subjects.
To conclude
, I strongly agree that the increasing use of technology can have unwanted effects
such
as making more mistakes in formal writing and raising the number of
teenagers
suffering from sadness and depression reading
friends
' or celebrities' social
media
.
Submitted by jessica.pastor.87 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by ensuring that each paragraph flows smoothly to the next. Use linking phrases to connect ideas and make transitions more subtle.
task achievement
Enhance your task response by exploring a broader range of perspectives. Consider discussing potential positive impacts of technology on reading and writing to provide a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
The essay has both an introduction and a conclusion, providing a clear structure.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples to support your main points, making your arguments more persuasive.

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