An increasing number of individuals are abandoning traditional sources like newspapers and television for obtaining news, relying instead on the internet. Do you consider this shift to be beneficial or detrimental?

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Today, many
people
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are more interested in getting their
news
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from the
internet
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rather than newspapers or television programs. As far as I am concerned, the pros outweigh the cons of using the
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
as a means of obtaining
news
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.
Firstly
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, it is more convenient for
people
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to obtain
information
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through the
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
.
While
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it may seem impossible for
people
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to watch TV programs outside of their homes or read newspapers
while
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walking, in fact, they can use their mobile phones to access the
internet
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and check reports at any time and from anywhere.
For example
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, they can read the
news
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while
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waiting for the bus or at a café.
Therefore
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, when society diversifies its access to
information
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, it gains a more comprehensive understanding of the current state of the world.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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believe that fake
news
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on the
internet
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can easily mislead society. Since
people
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can post anything they want without taking responsibility for their actions, an increasing number of false claims are being exposed to citizens.
For instance
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, if the public believes that stock market forecasts posted online are unreliable,
this
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could lead to financial instability.
Therefore
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, the widespread dissemination of misleading
information
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will cause substantial concern and will negatively affect individuals and society once
people
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become easily deceived. All in all,
while
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information
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spreading online can be dangerous and risky
due to
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a lack of regulation, it can still benefit
people
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through various platforms that offer opportunities to broaden their horizons.
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task response
Your response addresses the prompt adequately. However, you could provide more specific examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
You have good coherence and cohesion in your essay. The logical structure is clear, but you could work on improving the introduction and conclusion.
lexical resource
Your lexical resource is strong, with appropriate word choices and vocabulary. However, you could strive to use more varied and sophisticated vocabulary.
grammatical range
Your grammatical range is generally accurate, with only minor errors. Keep practicing to further improve your sentence structures and grammar.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • abandoning
  • traditional sources
  • relying on
  • shift
  • beneficial
  • detrimental
  • increased accessibility
  • convenience
  • wider range
  • engage with
  • misinformation
  • fake news
  • critical thinking
  • analysis
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