The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children's charity located in the USA spent and received in one year.

The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children's charity located in the USA spent and received in one year.
The two pie charts illustrate the proportion of children's charities which are located in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
funding sources and expenses percentage in
one
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
year period. In general, the
charity
receives the highest
revenue
from donated food
,
Remove the comma
apply
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and uses almost all gains for program services.
Additionally
, there occurs a surplus from the financial statement through the pie chart in children's charities.
To begin
with, donated food (86,6%) is the main source to fund the
charity
.
Therefore
, community contributions (10,4%) and program
revenue
(2,2%) are the only
revenue
which exceeds 1%. Meanwhile, other funding sources (investment income, government grants, and other income) merely generate less than 0,5% for the
charity
.
On the contrary
, the
spent
Replace the word
spending
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only
include
Correct subject-verb agreement
includes
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3 main expenses.
In addition
, most of the
revenue
is for funding the program services (95,8%).
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
fundraising and management and general expenses only spent 2,6% and 1,6% respectively.
Furthermore
, there is a surplus phenomenon with more than 300.000 USD occurring in the children's
charity
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words charity, revenue with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • donations
  • grants
  • fundraising events
  • expenditure
  • administration costs
  • program expenses
  • direct benefits
  • indirect benefits
  • underprivileged children
  • education
  • healthcare
  • shelter
  • nourishment
  • medical treatments
  • basic needs
  • financial sustainability
  • transparency
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