Public libraries should provide books and not waste their limited resources on expensive high-tech media such as software, applications, videos or DVDs. Do you agree or disagree?
It is assumed that having more
books
in public libraries is essential than spending more money on other expensive modern media such
as software, applications, videos or DVDs. This
essay totally disagrees with that statement. In my
opinion, I believe that Change preposition
My
people
nowadays are increasingly concerned about the practical use of technology for reading and it also
attracts more people
to enjoy coming to the library
.
Having a new method of reading leaving the conventional ones, has brought technology to become one of the foremost solution
for readers to Change to a plural noun
solutions
having
efficient ways of enjoying reading. More and more Change the form of the verb
have
people
choose to read by using e-book
, watch through Fix the agreement mistake
e-books
video
, and other reading sources that provide a variety of Fix the agreement mistake
videos
books
. For instance
, one
of my university Change preposition
in one
collages
, he used to surf information on his computer rather than finding the manual Correct your spelling
colleagues
books
in the library
. He said,
it is Remove the comma
apply
time consuming
and tiring looking at a bunch of Add a hyphen
time-consuming
uncertainty
Replace the word
uncertain
books
on the shelf.
Moreover
, improving the facilities with other modernized resources lead
to an increasing number of visitors coming to Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
library
. Add an article
the library
This
is because they notice that library
is a great place to spend their time, Correct article usage
the library
enjoying
reading, and have more Wrong verb form
enjoy
chance
to explore Fix the agreement mistake
chances
wide
range of activities not only seeing the Add an article
a wide
the wide
books
but also
encourage
them to have other fun and interesting activities. Wrong verb form
encouraging
For instance
, the national library
in Jakarta, Indonesia, it
witnessed that the Correct pronoun usage
apply
library
provide
a good quality of service with a high-tech development which Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
then
give a rice
to a significant increase in terms of visitors. Many of Correct your spelling
rise
the
even use the Correct pronoun usage
them
library
as a go to
place for unwind themselves Add a hyphen
go-to
while
enjoying reading and other facilities.
In conclusion, there is a clear evidence
that stocking only Remove the article
clear evidence
a piece of clear evidence
a shred of clear evidence
books
in library
is less effective than integrating more Add an article
the library
a library
advance
technology because manual Replace the word
advanced
books
have already left
behind, Add a missing verb
been left
people
need the current improvement.Correct word choice
and people
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task response
The essay partially addresses the task. While it argues that technology in libraries is important, it doesn't fully respond to the statement that public libraries should focus on books. It can be improved by providing a clear stand and stronger arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has an acceptable logical structure with clear introduction and conclusion. However, some ideas are not well-developed and lack coherence between paragraphs. Consider organizing the ideas more effectively.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary. However, there is room for improvement in terms of word choice and variety. Try to incorporate more academic and precise vocabulary.
grammatical range
The essay has a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are some grammatical errors throughout the essay. Review your grammar to enhance accuracy.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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