Public libraries should provide books and not waste their limited resources on expensive high-tech media such as software, applications, videos or DVDs. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is assumed that having more
books
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in public libraries is essential than spending more money on other expensive modern media
such
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as software, applications, videos or DVDs.
This
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essay totally disagrees with that statement.
In my
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My
show examples
opinion, I believe that
people
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nowadays are increasingly concerned about the practical use of technology for reading and it
also
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attracts more
people
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to enjoy coming to the
library
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. Having a new method of reading leaving the conventional ones, has brought technology to become one of the foremost
solution
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solutions
show examples
for readers to
having
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have
show examples
efficient ways of enjoying reading. More and more
people
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choose to read by using
e-book
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e-books
show examples
, watch through
video
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videos
show examples
, and other reading sources that provide a variety of
books
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.
For instance
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,
one
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in one
show examples
of my university
collages
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colleagues
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, he used to surf information on his computer rather than finding the manual
books
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in the
library
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. He said
,
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apply
show examples
it is
time consuming
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time-consuming
show examples
and tiring looking at a bunch of
uncertainty
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uncertain
show examples
books
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on the shelf.
Moreover
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, improving the facilities with other modernized resources
lead
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leads
show examples
to an increasing number of visitors coming to
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library
Add an article
the library
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.
This
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is because they notice that
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library
Correct article usage
the library
show examples
is a great place to spend their time,
enjoying
Wrong verb form
enjoy
show examples
reading, and have more
chance
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chances
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to explore
wide
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a wide
the wide
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range of activities not only seeing the
books
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but
also
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encourage
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encouraging
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them to have other fun and interesting activities.
For instance
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, the national
library
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in Jakarta, Indonesia,
it
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apply
show examples
witnessed that the
library
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provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
a good quality of service with a high-tech development which
then
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give a
rice
Correct your spelling
rise
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to a significant increase in terms of visitors. Many of
the
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them
show examples
even use the
library
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as a
go to
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go-to
show examples
place for unwind themselves
while
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enjoying reading and other facilities. In conclusion, there is
a clear evidence
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clear evidence
a piece of clear evidence
a shred of clear evidence
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that stocking only
books
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in
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library
Add an article
the library
a library
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is less effective than integrating more
advance
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advanced
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technology because manual
books
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have already
left
Add a missing verb
been left
show examples
behind,
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people
Correct word choice
and people
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need the current improvement.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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task response
The essay partially addresses the task. While it argues that technology in libraries is important, it doesn't fully respond to the statement that public libraries should focus on books. It can be improved by providing a clear stand and stronger arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has an acceptable logical structure with clear introduction and conclusion. However, some ideas are not well-developed and lack coherence between paragraphs. Consider organizing the ideas more effectively.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary. However, there is room for improvement in terms of word choice and variety. Try to incorporate more academic and precise vocabulary.
grammatical range
The essay has a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are some grammatical errors throughout the essay. Review your grammar to enhance accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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