Some people think that history has nothing or little to tell us, but others believe that studying the past history can help us better understand the present.

#people #history

People

have two ideas

a bout

Correct your spelling

about

show examples

the application of

history

While

the first group believes that it refers to past

events

and is not important, the second one believes they can learn some lessons that might be beneficial for us. In my

opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

show examples

we can be

familier

Correct your spelling

familiar

with our

life

by researching

history

Add an article

the history

show examples

and understanding how our

anscestors

Correct your spelling

ancestors

were living.

History

inseparable

Add an article

an inseparable

show examples

part of our

life

but some

people

think it does not have anything new. They always emphasize that

history

was

Wrong verb form

show examples

repeated again and its

events

are repeatable and

Change preposition

apply

show examples

studing

Correct your spelling

studying

history

wasting

Replace the word

waste

show examples

time.

On the other

hand

Add a comma

hand,

show examples

many

people

this

group believe that what happened in the past,

remain

Correct subject-verb agreement

remains

show examples

in the past and will not occur again.

Additionally

, the idea that

due to

changing the world during centuries the application of historical information is limited, is becoming widespread.

Conversely

, many individuals believe that

history

is a value that should be learned and

our

Correct word choice

that our

show examples

present or even prospective

life

is related to the

life

of ancient

people

Therefore

, researching

history

can benefit our

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

Firstly

, by

studing

Correct your spelling

studying

past

events

in our local area we can understand the social behaviours of our ancestors and by selecting the positive habits and

appling

Correct your spelling

applying

them

Change preposition

show examples

our daily

routins

Correct your spelling

routines

routine

, improve our society.

Secondly

politictions

Correct your spelling

politicians

and governments should learn how to interact with

people

, how to enhance

people

’s

life

, and how to treat

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

allies and enemies of the country.

Thus

, these are the matter of experience and these can

be find

Change the verb form

be found

show examples

only by studying historical

events

, kingdoms, and wars. Eventually, by knowing what happened to the previous

people

, we can find our role and situation in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

history

subsequently

we can estimate our future and prepare ourselves for the near future. The

believes

Replace the word

belief

show examples

that either

history

is important to study or not,

devide

Correct your spelling

divide

individuals into two groups and in my point of view

studing

Correct your spelling

studying

history

has a significant effect on our awareness.

Submitted by rasulmaghsudi928 on Mon Nov 06 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a specific main point and supports it with relevant examples and evidence.

coherence cohesion

Include a clear thesis statement in your introduction and a concise summary in your conclusion.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas and vary sentence structures for more clarity and precision.

grammatical range

Double-check your grammar to eliminate errors and improve sentence formation and coherence.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

323 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

insights
progression
values
beliefs
heritage
identity
applicable
biased
subjective
practical

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