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Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and academics world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #information #research #business #academics #world
In the modern world, new innovation is sharply increasing
such
 as many websites like Facebook ,Gmail and Zoom that
why
Add a missing verb
is why
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 many people think that these actions make our lives better ,but some think that the growth of innovation will have many negatives in the future. I disagree that the growth of modernization will be negative.
This
 essay will discuss why new modernization will benefit and will give reasons from my experiences.
To begin
 with, the
vauable
Correct your spelling
valuable
variable
 of development in the field of information and technology. First of all, Working, it can be seen that many companies use new technology in their workplace.
Secondly
,
internet
Add an article
the internet
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 makes our lives more easier than before.
Such
 as, many
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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 use Zoom and Google
meet
Capitalize word
Meet
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 to
meeting
Wrong verb form
meet
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 online.
Therefore
, I think that IT will make our
liives
Correct your spelling
lives
 better and will more easier.
Submitted by itchayatop31 on

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Task Achievement
Provide a balanced discussion of both views and clearly state your own opinion in the introduction.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure by using paragraphs to separate different ideas.
Lexical Resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and accurate language.
Grammatical Range
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar to avoid errors.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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