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Band 8

In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. some people believe it is more important to protect the ciuntryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion abiut this ?

#places #homes #space #countryside #people #ciuntryside #abiut
There is no denying the fact that building a new
house
 is a crucial matter so
people
 allocate significant attention to the
house
 location.
While
 it is a commonly held belief that the only space available for building them is in the
countryside
, there is
also
 an argument that some
people
 believe it is more crucial to protect the
countryside
 and not build new houses there. In my opinion, I believe that building a
house
 in the
countryside
 must be organized with some regulations in order to protect these areas.
To begin
 with, these days cities suffer from traffic pollution and congestion.
In other words
, building a
house
 in some cities is not a choice
due to
 the mentioned factors.
Therefore
,
people
 tend to build their houses in the
countryside
 which provides wide space and several choices to them compared to the limited spaces in the cityside.
For example
, if you want to buy land in a city, your choices will be limited to small spaces. Another point to consider, the
countryside
 must be protected by some regulations to prevent any future mistakes. It is
also
 possible to say that, we can not ban
people
 from buying new houses in the
countryside
, but we can regulate those purchases.
Moreover
, allocating the utmost care to preserve our environment is a must.
For instance
, if we do not regulate the process, it may affect the
countryside
 and it will threaten our environment. In conclusion, despite
people
 having different points of view, I tend to believe that we can not limit the population congestion in the
countryside
 but at the same time, we must regulate it to limit its adverse effect.
Submitted by omima7a7md on

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task achievement
Expand on the reasons why it might be important to protect the countryside to create a more balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next to enhance overall coherence.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the prompt by offering a clear opinion on the issue.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion which neatly frames the main argument.
task achievement
The main points are supplemented with examples that make the writer's argument more concrete.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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