IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

The only way to improve safety on our roads is to give much stricter punishments for driving offences. What extent do you agree or disagree?

#safety #roads #punishments #offences
Day by day roads are becoming unsafe for the people who need to use transport for their daily needs. In most cases,
drivers
 are directly responsible for accidents. If it is possible to give proper
punishment
 to the
drivers
 who have linked with any unsafe driving, the
safety
 will improve a lot. At the same time, proper education can accelerate
this
 improvement. The main problem with increasing the
safety
 of the transport system is the minimal
punishment
 for any accident. Bangladesh is a great example of that, where the highest
punishment
 for an accident is three months in jail.
As a result
,
drivers
 are more relaxed to do some wrong activities as they will not get a proper
punishment
.
On the other hand
, if the
punishment
 level increases
according to
 the severity of accidents,
then
 they will remember to drive safely.
Moreover
, punishing one can educate others. When someone sees that his peers are getting punished for avoiding the traffic rules,
then
 he will remember it in his case, which will lead him to follow the traffic regulations.
On the other hand
, proper education is
also
 important to accelerate the
safety
 of highways.
For instance
, most of the
drivers
 of the Indian subcontinent are illiterate. They could not separate the wrong from the right and always tried to prove that they were correct. If it is possible to educate them that life is more important than time, they will consider
safety
 rather than fast travel.
Additionally
, teaching of the importance of their lives for their families can play a vital role, because everybody is sincere to his family members.
This
 benefit is possible if the rule is developed that for getting a driving licence, it is mandatory to pass a psychology test of these learnings. In conclusion, it can be said that proper
punishment
 with appropriate education can lead to improving the
safety
 of the roads.
Submitted by tanvir0507 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that all the main points are supported with relevant examples and evidence.
coherence cohesion
Include a stronger conclusion that summarizes the main points and reinforces the argument.
lexical resource
Expand vocabulary and use more diverse and precise language.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to ensure clarity and accuracy.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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