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Band 6

Today, many people don't know their neighbours in large city What problems does this cause what can be done about this

#people #neighbours #city
Nowadays, we can easily see that citizens do not have a relationship with
people
 who live in the same hood as them.
This
 essay will show the reason why
this
 problem happened and how to solve that. It can not be doubted that the pace of living is going up rapidly and we have to deal with that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 so that folk do not have enough time to chat or visit residents around us. The hustle and bustle of
life
also
 make the public turn their awareness to
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
, leading to the fact that the relationship becomes
unimportant
Rephrase
as unimportant
show examples
 as money or wages.
Furthermore
, we just care about the benefits other bring to us and when
one
 of them
turn
Change the verb form
turns
show examples
useless, we will stay away from them and maybe disappear.On the
one
 hand, a small part of
this
 problem belongs to some parents
due to
 the carelessness was given them when we were a child, they must make money to cope with living conditions, taxes, food,etc...
Therefore
 they do not let us contact with our neighbours, it is saved in our mindset that the relations between
people
 and others do not crucial and do not have an impact in our
life
 and the emotion in social become freeze.
However
, the solution is too simple, just managing
people
's schedules, spending our time meeting neighbours, chatting or doing anything together about the strict
life
.
Moreover
, we can do a plan that 2 or 3 families in
one
 area have collective holidays, it will be more interesting and diverse.
In addition
, when we go to school, we can make more friends because have chances that
one
 or more of them are living in the same area with us and in the future, it will bring a lot of things.
Also
, when we become parents, the action must taken that encourages our child to go outside and contact others .
Thus
, the connection between
people
 in the same area needs to be improved,
life
 is so strict and we need some public who can help us when we have troubles. Some things seem to be easy and useless in modern society but it can make the population more intimate.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting sentences that develop the main idea.
coherence cohesion
Include a strong and concise introduction that introduces the topic and provides a clear thesis statement. Similarly, include a conclusion that summarizes the main points and offers a concluding statement.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary by using more varied and precise words and phrases. Avoid repetition.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and ensure that your sentences are grammatically correct. Vary your sentence structures to create more complexity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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