Successful companies use advertisements to make more sales. What can make an advertisement effective? Do you think advertisemnts are a bad thing or a good thing for the society?

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In
this
day and age, with the speedy development of
technology
, the way
people
communicate has been significantly influenced. Some
people
believe that
technology
benefits
people
's connection
while
others hold the opposite view. Personally, I believe the merits
technology
brings outweigh the drawbacks. The most apparent advantage
technology
brought is that it is more convenient for
people
to get in touch with each other, especially for long-distance communication. In the past,
people
in different regions could only use letters to contact, which was extremely time-consuming.
However
,
technology
these days enables
people
to chat without distance boundaries.
For instance
, parents can ensure their
kids
Change to a genitive case
kid's
kids'
show examples
safety even if the kids are not with them. Even
people
in two countries can receive each other's responses immediately, which is bound to be impossible without the help of
technology
. Undeniably,
technology
brings us numerous benefits, but it
also
comes with drawbacks. Many
people
find that interpersonal
communications
Fix the agreement mistake
communication
show examples
within close relationships is decreasing.
People
absorb
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their smart devices and ignore others's existence, let alone communicate with others.
For instance
, in my family, it is a common phenomenon that everyone plays on their cell phones during dinner and nobody talks.
However
, communication between close relationships is pivotal. It not only enables you to maintain relationships
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
provides you with emotional support. Personally, I believe the advantages
technology
brings us exceed the disadvantages. It is an irreversible trend that more and more
people
will adopt smart devices as approaches to assist with their lives. Having said that, individuals are well-advised to consider how to use
technology
wisely rather than avoiding using it at all.
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Task Response
Make sure to directly address the essay topic in your introduction, explicitly stating how your essay will discuss the effectiveness of advertisements and their impact on society.
Task Response
Your essay content is somewhat misaligned with the given task. It focuses on the impact of technology on communication rather than discussing the effectiveness of advertisements and their impact on society.
Coherence and Cohesion
Utilize a variety of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay and make transitions between ideas smoother.
Task Achievement
To reinforce your points, include more specific examples related to the effectiveness and societal impact of advertisements.
Structure
You structured your essay well with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Coherence
Your argument is coherent, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the debate on technology's impact, which demonstrates good control over essay organization.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enticing
  • compelling
  • captivating
  • engaging
  • appealing
  • resonate with
  • target demographic
  • consumer behavior
  • enticement
  • visibility
  • brand awareness
  • commercialism
  • promotional tactics
  • ethical advertising
What to do next:
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