Today, many do not know their neighbors in large cities. What problem does this cause ? What can be done about this ?

The situation of not
know
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knowing
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about
neighbors
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neighbours
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of citizens in large urban areas is said to be worsening. The root cause for
this
is the lack of connections between them, yet it can be solved by governments raising
fund
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funds
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to organize some trips to foster their bond. The principal
causes
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cause
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for
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of
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the problem
is
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are
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they do not have much
time
to spend
on
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apply
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chatting
their
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in their
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neighborhood
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neighbourhood
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. It must be recognized that the working schedule of some workers in big cities is totally busy.
As a consequence
, they will have a very hard day and have less
time
to rest themselves so it is really inconvenient for them to meet their neighbors. Take Arizona, the United States as an example, the normal day
at
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in
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this
metropolitan area is very busy and
that is
the reason why Arizona has the
least
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lowest
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percent
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percentage
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of people know another in their society.
However
, there are sensible measures to tackle the problem. I strongly believe that the authorities should raise money and provide some kind of vacation to their native. I think that after a
time
when
government
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the government
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apply
this
solution, they will see strong bonds between the natives
as a result
. It is true in Helsinki, Poland, the happiest
cities
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city
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in the world. At
their
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there
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, they usually spend
time
chatting and relaxing with their
neighbors
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neighbours
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at
weekend
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the weekend
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so it is not hard to understand why Helsinki’s residents have
a
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the
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highest
happy
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happiness
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rate in the world. In conclusion,
although
most communities want to live their private lives in
this
modern century, not being able to identify your housemates and communicate well with them is causing more harm than good. the public should find ways to have a good bond with their neighbours irrespective of the nature of their work.

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coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are not clearly stated. Make sure to introduce the topic and provide a clear conclusion summarizing your main points.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your main points. This will make your essay more convincing and demonstrate your understanding of the topic.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to make your essay more varied and engaging. This can be achieved by using synonyms and exploring different word choices.
grammatical range
Pay attention to your sentence structures and grammar usage. There are some errors in subject-verb agreement and sentence construction.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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