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Writing Samples
Band 5

Today, many do not know their neighbors in large cities. What problem does this cause? What can be done about this?

#neighbors #cities
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The situation of not knowing about neighbours of citizens in large urban areas is said to be worsening. The root cause for
this
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 is the lack of connections between them, yet it can be solved by governments raising funds to organize some trips to foster their bond. The principal cause of the problem
are
Change the verb form
is
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 they do not have much time to spend chatting in their neighbourhood. It must be recognized that the working schedule of some workers in big cities is totally busy.
As a consequence
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, they will have a very hard day and have less date to rest themselves so it is really inconvenient for them to meet their neighbors. Take Arizona, the United States as an example, the normal day in
this
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 metropolitan area is very busy and
that is
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 the reason why Arizona has the lowest percentage of people know another in their society.
However
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, there are sensible measures to tackle the problem. I strongly believe that the authorities should raise money and provide some kind of vacation to their native. I think that after a time when the government apply
this
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 solution, they will see strong bonds between the natives
as a result
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. It is true in Helsinki, Poland, the happiest city in the world.
At there
Change preposition
There
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, they usually spend
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
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 chatting and relaxing with their neighbours at the weekend so it is not hard to understand why Helsinki’s residents have the highest happiness rate in the world. In conclusion,
although
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 most communities want to live their private lives in
this
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 modern century, not being able to identify your housemates and communicate well with them is causing more harm than good. the public should find ways to have a good bond with their neighbours irrespective of the nature of their work.
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task response
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cohesion
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coherence
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lexical resource
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grammatical range
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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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