IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that governments should pay full course fees for students who want to study in universities. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In recent years , some people
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 argued that the government should cover the cost
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 higher
education
Use synonyms
 for any individual who wants to attend.
While
Linking Words
 there are lots of benefits for the community , I myself worry about the
unbalance
Replace the word
unbalanced
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 opportunity for jobs and the lack of academic quality that would overshadow its benefits. It’s undeniable that making the university free has several benefits.
First
Add a comma
First,
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 the policy would encourage pupils from low-income backgrounds to attend
to
Change preposition
apply
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college .
For
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this
Linking Words
reason
Add a comma
reason,
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 students from less
prosperity
Replace the word
prosperous
show examples
 backgrounds would have more possibilities to enhance their
education
Use synonyms
.
Second,
Linking Words
investing funds and scholarships may improve the quality of
working
Correct article usage
the working
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 population. The more people have advanced degrees
the
Punctuation problem
, the
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 more the economy grows.
In
Change preposition
On
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 the other hand,
this
Linking Words
 approach may cause
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 enormous
down turn
Use the right word
downturn
show examples
. Because of the high demand for university
academic
Fix the agreement mistake
academics
show examples
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
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 in Vietnam
where
Punctuation problem
, where
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 the tradition of study
rooted
Verb problem
is rooted
show examples
 for hundreds of
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
,
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
reason
Punctuation problem
reason,
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 college and academic resources can be overwhelming easily. The university may not
Verb problem
be well-prepare
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well-prepare
Use the right word
well-prepared
show examples
 for a dramatic increase in applications
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 would ultimately lead to the destruction of
Use synonyms
education
Correct article usage
the education
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 system.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 would increase the number of people who have
degree
Correct article usage
a degree
show examples
, there will be
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of
labor
Change the spelling
labour
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 for physical work
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
Linking Words
also
Verb problem
is also
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 crucial for
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 developing country like
Vietnam
Punctuation problem
Vietnam,
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 where
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modernization
Change the spelling
modernisation
show examples
 in technology and heavy industries
still
Verb problem
is still
show examples
 steadily growing . In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 I agree that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
universal access to higher
education
Use synonyms
 is vital for the development of every country, I’m still concerned about the possibility and adaptability of
this
Linking Words
 policy in my country.
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
Futhermore
Punctuation problem
Futhermore,
show examples
 the
massive
Use the right word
mass
show examples
 of
application
Fix the agreement mistake
applications
show examples
 may put endless pressure on the campus system and
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 market.

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task response
Your view is clear but be more direct. Say if you agree or not at once, then add one or two clear reasons.
grammar
In your write up you use 'In the other hand'. Use 'On the other hand' and fix small grammar errors.
content
Use more plan and simple facts. For example, say how money would come from the state and how to keep quality.
content
You show both sides and you give a final view, which helps reader.
coherence
There is a good effort to use examples from real life.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Higher education
  • University tuition
  • Public good
  • Economic growth
  • Fiscal responsibility
  • Merit-based scholarships
  • Need-based grants
  • Socioeconomic status
  • Educational equity
  • Income-contingent loans
  • Graduate tax
  • Financial aid
  • Student loans
  • Subsidize
  • Taxpayer funding
  • Underappreciation
  • Workforce development
  • Access to education
  • Higher learning institutions
  • Government expenditure
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