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Writing Samples
Band 7

Sciencetists predict in the near future, cars will be driven by computers, not people. Why? Do you think it is a positive of negative development? Linh

#sciencetists #future #cars #computers #people #development #linh
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In the modern era, the self-driving car industry is growing rapidly, and in the near future,
cars
 will be fully automated by computers. I completely agree and disagree with the opinion, and It will
be discuss
Change the verb form
be discussed
show examples
 in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, with significant technological advancements, autonomous vehicles can help people navigate roads more efficiently, similar to how Google Maps helps users avoid traffic jams.
Additionally
, one of the most appealing benefits is the convenience that self-driving
cars
 offer. Passengers can relax and enjoy luxurious services,
such
 as having tea or fresh fruit, without needing to focus on driving.
For instance
, in special situations where individuals consume alcohol, they can safely use a self-driving car to get home without worrying about driving under the influence.
On the other hand
, there are potential drawbacks to
cars
 being fully automated by technology. One concern is the possibility of system failures, which might prevent the vehicle from addressing issues promptly.
Moreover
, self-driving
cars
 might not be as responsive as human drivers in emergency situations, potentially leading to accidents. Another significant impact is on employment. The widespread adoption of autonomous vehicles could reduce job opportunities for professional drivers, affecting their financial independence. Without work, these drivers might struggle to cover their daily expenses. In conclusion,
while
 self-driving
cars
 offer many conveniences and could improve road safety, there are
also
 concerns regarding technological reliability and the potential loss of jobs. It is essential to carefully consider both the advantages and disadvantages as we move towards a future with automated vehicles.
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task achievement
To further improve, consider sharpening the argument by providing more specific examples and elaborating on each point in more depth.
task achievement
Ensure that all parts of the question are fully addressed and that your argument is clear and consistent throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on connecting ideas more smoothly to improve the overall flow of the essay. This will help in achieving a higher score in coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which helps in understanding the main point being discussed.
task achievement
Main ideas are well-supported with relevant examples, especially the point regarding self-driving cars being beneficial for individuals who consume alcohol.
task achievement
The argument covers both pros and cons of the topic, giving a balanced view of the potential impact of self-driving cars.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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