IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Today,many people do not know their neighbours in large cities.What problems do this cause?What can be done about this?

#people #neighbours #cities
Currently,modern society requires dwellers
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
to adapt to the hustle and bustle of life.It leads to the increase of closed-minded
people
 in
metropolis
Add an article
the metropolis
show examples
.
This
 writer will
attend to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
point out the primary cause and present some effective solutions. It must be acknowledged that
people
 become more occupied with their businesses or studies.They don’t have enough time to have more relationships with other citizens. They are overwhelmed by work pressure to keep up with the
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
show examples
 of society.It not only prevents them from getting to know others but can
also
 lead to mental problems and even suicide. Reality has shown that more and more
people
 seek death, especially when they are still very young,Japan is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 prime example.
Nonetheless
, there are reasonable ways to address the issue.
Initially
, social gatherings ought to be planned in local communities. By giving social event planning more priority,
people
 may begin interacting with one another and forming close relationships among
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
. Another option is to drastically change the way specific areas of global cities are designed.
For example
, increasing the number of common areas, like playgrounds and gardens, can increase the chance that
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
 will socialize more frequently.
To sum up
, the main causes of some
people
's lack of social engagement with their
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
 are their hectic schedules and unsuitable surroundings, which have little to do with their
neighbor
Change the spelling
neighbour
show examples
 connections.
However
, it becomes simpler for
people
 to mingle with their
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
 once they are inspired to get to know one another through the planning of events and a variety of services.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task respose
Ensure that all parts of the task are addressed fully and clearly. Provide a more balanced view by discussing other factors that contribute to the problem.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a clear and logical structure throughout the essay. Connect ideas and paragraphs more effectively to improve coherence.
lexical resource
Diversify your vocabulary choice and use more varied and precise language to enhance the essay.
grammatical range
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and range. Use a wider range of sentence structures and proofread for any common grammatical errors.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Community spirit
  • Isolation
  • Surveillance
  • Safety and security
  • Vulnerability
  • Support networks
  • Local gatherings
  • Foster
  • Social media platforms
  • Neighbourhood watch
  • Emergency situations
  • Natural disasters
  • Shared resources
  • Crime rates
What to do next:
Look at other essays: