Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages ot this outweigh the disadventages?

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Schools play a pivotal role in shaping the minds of young ones. Some people think that kids should learn foreign language at primary school
instead
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of secondary.
This
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essay will delve into both the pros and cons of
this
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notion. First and foremost, the prominent benefit of learning a foreign language is that it will help them in becoming multilingual.
Moreover
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,
this
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will
also
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help them in making their future secure
for example
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they can try to find a job in abroad as well because if the employer is looking for
French
Add an article
a French
show examples
speaker, they will easily get that job.
In addition
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, cultural understanding is one of the main benefits of learning a new accent. One can know about other's traditions, beliefs and values. It can
also
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assist in making new social connections. On the flip side, there are
also
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some drawbacks associated with
this
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notion.
Firstly
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, if children start learning a completely different style from their own area, it can lead to stress and pressure among students.
Furthermore
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, it will hinder their personal growth and chances of developing skills. Statistics revealed that 85% of the learners choose the option "no" for learning a new language. In conclusion,
while
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there are some notable advantages associated with
this
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notion, drawbacks cannot be ignored at the same time. No doubt, it will enhance the chances of a job for students but mental health is more important than anything else.
Submitted by sidhukomal096 on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a well-structured argument but could benefit from more detailed explanations and evidence to support the main points. Try to elaborate more on each point with examples that are specific and relevant.
coherence cohesion
The essay's coherence and cohesion could be improved by using linking words and phrases more effectively to guide the reader through your argument. This will help to create a more seamless flow from one point to another.
structure
You provide a clear introduction and conclusion, helping to frame your argument effectively.
task completion
Including both advantages and disadvantages shows a balanced approach, which is important for a well-rounded essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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