Doctors, Nurses, and teachers make a great contribution to society and should be payed more than entertainment and sport celebrities. Do you agree or disagree ?

#doctors #nurses #teachers #contribution #society #entertainment #sport #celebrities

Famous people from

leisure

Correct article usage

the leisure

show examples

and physical activity field are getting more money than

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

healthcare professionals and tutors.I completely agree with the above statement.

This

essay

ellaborates

Correct your spelling

elaborates

on why doctors,

teachers

Correct word choice

and teachers

show examples

should be paid more than

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

celebrities.

Health care

Correct your spelling

Healthcare

show examples

professionals

such

as doctors and nurses contribute to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society by improving the quality of

health

Change preposition

apply

show examples

curing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

disease

Fix the agreement mistake

diseases

show examples

and

also

to provide a healthy lifestyle .They aim to improve a

persons

Change to a genitive case

person's

show examples

mental and physical

health

so that they can have

good

Add an article

a good

show examples

healthy long life.

For instance

, An oncologist who cured Rahul who was suffering from cancer for two years gets

Change the article

show examples

average salary of one lakh a month but an actor

such

abishek

Change the capitalization

Abishek

show examples

gets five crores for a movie which entertains us for two hours.

On the other hand

, celebrities from entertainment

such

as movies, song albums ,

pod cast

Correct your spelling

podcasts

show examples

et cetera and famous people in sports like football, cricket,

hockey

Correct word choice

and hockey

show examples

provide to the community but they

dont

Correct your spelling

don't

make a change in

ones

Change to a genitive case

one's

show examples

life .

For example

, Mr.

sachin

Change the capitalization

Sachin

show examples

who plays cricket for the nation won awards and is paid in crores for one game

where

Rephrase

apply

show examples

Change preposition

whereas

show examples

a teacher who teaches a student

Change preposition

from a

show examples

young age till he graduates gets a salary of an average

twenty

Change preposition

of twenty

show examples

thousand per month.

To conclude

health

care professionals and teachers spend their time to make a

persons

Change to a genitive case

person's

show examples

life better,

hence

society becomes good .

Therefore

they should be paid more than

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

entertainment and

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

celebrities.

Submitted by jennimanu926 on Mon Nov 06 2023

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introduction conclusion present

Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction and provide a clear thesis statement.

relevant specific examples

Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your main points.

logical structure

Ensure a clear logical structure throughout the essay and use appropriate linking words.

lexical resource

Expand your range of vocabulary and use more varied and precise words.

grammatical range

Pay attention to grammar and sentence structures to avoid errors and improve accuracy.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

242 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

contribution
essential
well-being
education
training
dedication
entertain
inspire
significant
exorbitant
attract
talented
professions
improve
overall
quality
healthcare
priority
development
citizens

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Doctors, Nurses, and teachers make a great contribution to society and should be payed more than entertainment and sport celebrities. Do you agree or disagree ?

Word Count

To achieve personal happiness, the relationships we have with other people (friends, colleagues, family) are more essential than every other thing. Issues like wealth and occupations take the second place. Write to support this claim.

Children of ages 7-11 now spend more time watching television and/or playing video games than before. What are the effects of this on children, family and society? What are the possible solutions to this situation

Many people nowadays travel abroad for their university education. Why do people do this? Would you consider doing this yourself and why? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.