Some people get into debt by buying things they don't need and can't afford. What are the reasons of this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

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Recently, irresponsible financial decisions

are

Wrong verb form

have been

show examples

made by individuals.

Moreover

Linking Words

, it is a result of reckless spending. In

this

Linking Words

essay, it will be discussed how the educational system and consumerism play a significant role in

this

Linking Words

situation and how

this

Linking Words

problem could be solved.

Firstly

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, business classes are not usually taught among young students, leaving them unprepared for the financial responsibilities they will encounter in adulthood.

For example

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, it is commonly known that money management and investing are not common skills for them until they become adults.

As a result

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, irresponsible expenses are made

due to

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a lack of proper financial education.

This

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issue could easily be addressed through systematic reform, putting a heavier emphasis on teaching financial management skills in schools. If young people were educated about money from an early age, they could avoid many of the pitfalls that lead to financial instability later in life.

Secondly

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, in a materialistic society, goods and services are easily and rapidly replaceable. Modern consumer culture encourages frequent spending, and the data suggests that buying new products is preferred rather than attempting to repair preexisting objects in approximately 80% of American consumers.

Consequently

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, funds are wasted on unnecessary items

instead

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of being used for something more productive,

such

Linking Words

as investments, savings, or long-term financial planning. In conclusion, changes have to happen rapidly in order to prevent the entire economic system from collapsing in the near future. Growing capital and savings is unpopular, which is an issue that I believe must be addressed immediately.

Therefore

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, I believe that governments should encourage citizens to make smarter financial decisions by increasing interest rates or lowering taxes

alessandro.taleseTue Sep 24 2024

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task achievement

Expand on the specific examples related to financial mismanagement to provide a more impactful argument. For instance, use more than just a general mention of statistics—provide sources or elaborate on the study's relevance.

task achievement

Ensure that the solutions proposed are more detailed and feasible, including actionable steps and realistic interventions. For example, explain how increasing interest rates or lowering taxes would benefit individual financial habits.

coherence cohesion

Make sure there is a logically connected flow between paragraphs. Use transition words and phrases to enhance the connectivity between your points and make the text easier to follow.

coherence cohesion

Clarify your conclusion by ensuring it aligns directly with the points discussed in the body of the essay. Make the summary more conclusive and reflective of the provided discussions and solutions.

structure

The essay has a clear structure, with a defined introduction, body, and conclusion. This helps in understanding the argument being made.

language

The language used is generally clear and understandable, making the ideas accessible to the reader.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

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Some people get into debt by buying things they don't need and can't afford. What are the reasons of this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

Your opinion

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The imbalance situation as more people compete in core careers. Education should be free for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that in a city, the best way to travel is by car, while other people argue that bicycles are a better way of travelling in a city. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

you need to arganize an affice event in a community center to celebrate the 100th anniversary of the company. write a letter to your owner about 1- request the budget of the cermony 2- explain the importance of event 3- ask hi using the conference room on that date.