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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. But others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject they are good at or find the most interesting. Discuss both sides and give more options.

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There is an ongoing debate about whether
students
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 should study a wide range of
subjects
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 or focus on
one
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 key discipline.
While
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 some believe a broad
education
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 creates well-rounded individuals, others argue that specialization leads to expertise and career success.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my own view. On the
one
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 hand, studying a variety of
subjects
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 helps
students
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 develop diverse skills and become more adaptable. A well-rounded
education
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 broadens
knowledge
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 and allows individuals to navigate different aspects of life.
For example
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, teachers are expected to handle various situations,
such
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 as providing basic first aid if a student gets injured. If teachers have some medical
knowledge
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, they can respond effectively to emergencies.
Similarly
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,
students
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 who study multiple
subjects
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 gain problem-solving skills that can be beneficial in any career.
Therefore
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, a broad curriculum ensures that
students
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 are prepared for different challenges in life and work.
On the other hand
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, specializing in
one
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 subject allows
students
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 to master their chosen field and excel in their profession. When
students
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 focus on
one
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 area of study, they can dedicate more time and effort to developing in-depth
knowledge
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 and expertise.
For instance
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, future doctors need extensive training in medicine and healthcare, rather than studying
subjects
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 unrelated to their field. By specializing, they can acquire advanced skills and provide high-quality treatment to patients.
As a result
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, targeted
education
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 can enhance professional competency and contribute to better career opportunities. In conclusion,
while
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 studying all
subjects
Use synonyms
 promotes well-rounded development, specialization is essential for those pursuing specific careers. In my opinion,
students
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 should have a broad foundation in early
education
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 but gradually focus on their areas of interest as they advance in their studies.
This
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 balanced approach ensures that they develop both general
knowledge
Use synonyms
 and professional expertise.

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Task Achievement
While your introduction clearly presents the topic and your opinion, it could benefit from a more explicit thesis statement outlining the main points of discussion right after stating both perspectives.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay flows well overall, but consider using more cohesive devices or linking phrases to enhance transitions between ideas. This will improve the overall flow and clarity.
Task Achievement
The examples provided are relevant, but including a few more specific examples, perhaps from different fields, would strengthen your argument about specialization.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of both sides of the argument, and the points made are logical and well-developed.
Task Achievement
The use of specific examples, like the roles of teachers and doctors, effectively illustrates your points and strengthens your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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