Today, many people do not know their neigbours in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

#people #neigbours #cities

It is widely argued that the connection between the inhabitants has become weaker than before, especially in urban areas.

This

writer advocates that a busy lifestyle and well-developed equipment are the main causes of

this

issue.

However

, it can be tackled by organizing events in the neighbourhood. The following essay will illustrate both causes and solutions to

this

problem. As a matter of fact, the hustle and bustle of city life makes

people

busier. The citizens concentrate on their individual careers and businesses.

Therefore

, the industries and quality of life in urban areas are better than in the countryside.

However

, they have less time to meet each other regularly and create a gap between humans. It is clear to realize that young

people

do not contact their neighbourhood and their lives just revolve around houses and schools.

In addition

, busy life affects our behaviour and habits. The inhabitants are getting used to having their private lives. In the digital era, the development of technology and devices is another reason for

this

issue. In recent years, humans have spent a large amount of time on social media.

For instance

, during the Covid-19 disease, most citizens use the internet and online apps for work and study.

Therefore

, mobile phones become a part of our lives and we spend more time staying online

instead

of talking face to face. In consequence,

people

are unsociable and unneighborly, staying in their comfort zone with technologies.

Last

but not least, the method for

this

trouble is celebrating social events in the locality in order to find a common touch.

For example

, on special occasions

such

as Christmas, New Year and Easter,

people

in the neighbourhood may organize a party together, it

also

connects us and builds up memories.

To conclude

, the relationships in large cities are worse than before.

This

writer believes that

this

problem should be improved by the community's activities.

Submitted by [email protected] on Mon Nov 06 2023

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coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is generally clear, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the supporting main points could be strengthened to enhance the overall coherence.

task achievement

The essay provides a complete response to the task prompt, addressing both the problems caused by not knowing neighbors in large cities and suggesting a solution through neighborhood events.

lexical resource

The lexical resource is adequate, with varied vocabulary and appropriate word choices. However, more advanced vocabulary could be used to enhance the essay.

grammatical range

The grammatical range is generally good, with a variety of sentence structures used. However, there are some minor errors in sentence structure and word usage that could be improved.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

316 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Communal support
Shared responsibility
Neighborhood safety
Emergency situations
Community watch
Neighborhood initiatives
Communication and trust
Anonymity
Social isolation
Mental health issues
Community events
Online forums
Social media groups
Neighborhood welcome committees
Volunteer projects
Community centers

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Today, many people do not know their neigbours in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many people say that the only way to guarantee getting a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is bette to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. How far do you agree or disagree with the above views?

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

Some people think robots are very important to humans' future development while others think they are dangerous and have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In some countries, parents prefer to teach children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of homeschooling outweigh the disadvantages?