It is not uncommon that children are required to obey the rule of their parents and teachers. Some people are worried that too much control over children will not prepare them well for their adult life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#children #rule #parents #teachers #people #control #adult #life

With the changing notion of how children should behave, some people opine that they must dance attendance on their

parents

and teachers.

However

, others counter that

this

is detrimental to their development. I will delve into both sides of the argument before presenting my viewpoint on

this

. On the one hand, it goes without saying that complying with the rules laid down by

parents

holds several benefits.

To begin

with, it helps to shape the young’s character traits,

such

as punctuality, self-discipline, or self-regulation. Not only is

this

conducive to the children’s process of growing up but

this

also

gives them a sense of connection;

in other words

, they will not feel

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

left out. Statistics have shown that offspring not receiving much attention from their

parents

stand to develop a disposition towards antisocial

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

However

, comprehensible are the worries about whether having too much control over children can be counterproductive.

Firstly

due to

the young’s fragile state of mind, if not handled properly,

this

can lead to rebellion, or even kindle autism. To make it clear, when a child is curbed in many aspects in light of impositions, he can not show his full capacity,

hence

, he grows up to be inactive and

Change preposition

show examples

some occasions, he even retaliates against his

parents

Secondly

, the enforcement of regulations

also

limits the offspring’s potential since, as mentioned before, there is little room for them to realize their

abilitiy

Correct your spelling

ability

abilities

. Not being able to know their talents has a bad influence on the process of finding a suitable job or habit later on. All in all, I think that

parents

and teachers should be prudent in terms of rules because if the amount of pressure put on children to obey them surpasses their mental endurance, it can result in dire consequences;

otherwise

, if

remained

Wrong verb form

remain

show examples

balanced, certain benefits can be expected.

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that relates to the main argument. Also, work on providing more specific and relevant examples to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Include a clear introduction that introduces the topic and provides an overview of your main arguments. Similarly, ensure that your conclusion summarizes your main points and gives your own opinion.

lexical resource

Expand your range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely. Use synonyms and idiomatic expressions to enhance your writing.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure and sentence variety. Use complex sentences and different grammatical structures to showcase your language skills.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

307 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is not uncommon that children are required to obey the rule of their parents and teachers. Some people are worried that too much control over children will not prepare them well for their adult life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that children should not be given homework every day, while others believe that they must get homework every day in order to be successful at school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The gap between the rich and the poor is becoming wider; the rich are becoming richer, and the poor are getting even poorer. What problems can the situation cause? What can be done to reduce this gap?

It is not necessary for people to travel to other places to learn about the culture. We can learn as much as from books, films and the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Advantages and disadvantages of participating in a TV talent show during school yeras

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?