More and more people no longer read newspapers or watch TV programs to get news. They get news about the world through the internet. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #newspapers #tv #programs #news #world #internet #development

With the development of technology, it is common for

people

to know current affairs through the

internet

Capitalize word

Internet

show examples

instead

of newspaper and TV programmes. From my point of view, I believe that it is a positive development.

Firstly

, one of the main

Fix the agreement mistake

reasons

show examples

reason

Fix the agreement mistake

reasons

show examples

is getting information from the

internet

is positive progress as the widening information gap between

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

urban citizens and

people

from rural areas.

For instance

, the data on the

internet

would not be limited by distances of expenditures, leading to

people

living in remote

region

Fix the agreement mistake

regions

show examples

will be

Wrong verb form

being

show examples

able to access as similar information as

urban

Correct article usage

the urban

show examples

public.

Furthermore

, it would allow us to take

report

Fix the agreement mistake

reports

show examples

on time.

By contrast

, taking

word

Add an article

the word

a word

show examples

from

newspaper

Add an article

the newspaper

show examples

would offer to take our expense and

and

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

a long term of shipping which cause a time difference between citizens and

people

from rural regions in knowing current advent.

Secondly

, another conspicuous reason is that knowing current events through

Add an article

the internet

show examples

internet

Capitalize word

Internet

show examples

will prove our

economy

Replace the word

economic

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growth.

Moreover

, the amount of news on the

internet

is unlimited

while

those in TV programmes and

newspaper

Fix the agreement mistake

newspapers

show examples

would

Verb problem

are

show examples

limit

Wrong verb form

limited

show examples

in some

situation

Fix the agreement mistake

situations

show examples

Therefore

, it is definitely clear that

people

get in touch with

contents

Fix the agreement mistake

content

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

that appeared

show examples

appeared

Wrong verb form

appears

show examples

on the

internet

due to

the chance that they make

profit

Add an article

a profit

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will go up.

Additionally

this

phenomenon

lead

Change the verb form

leads

show examples

better

Correct article usage

a better

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environment because it will decrease the number of

paper making

Add a hyphen

paper-making

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or other industries,

cqausing

Correct your spelling

causing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

damage to the economy. In conclusion,

although

short-term disadvantages will occur in the economy, there will be a return in the long run and in more aspects.

Therefore

, I believe that

this

phenomenon is a positive development.

Submitted by phthaoo on Mon Nov 06 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting evidence. Use transition words and phrases to connect ideas.

coherence cohesion

Include a clearer thesis statement in your introduction to provide a clear indication of your stance.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments.

lexical resource

Expand your range of vocabulary by using more precise and varied words and phrases.

grammatical range

Pay attention to your sentence structure and grammar to avoid errors.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

accessibility
real-time updates
diverse perspectives
user engagement
interactivity
subscription
traditional media
fake news
misinformation
deforestation
customization
social isolation

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More and more people no longer read newspapers or watch TV programs to get news. They get news about the world through the internet. Is this a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are acomplete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

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Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Some believe that exercise is important for health while others think that balanced diet is more important. Discuss both points and give your opinion.