Some people think that it would be better for large companies in the industry to move to regional areas outside large urban cities. Do you think the advantages outweigh the advantageous.
Business
leadership is growing hugely these days due to
industrial and economic developments. Some manufacturers see that it is a good idea to shift their businesses from megacities to the countryside. However
, others think it will cause some trouble. I think that such
a choice will lead to real issues. In this
essay, I will refer to some studies to illustrate the negative impact of moving industry from metropolitan cities
to the countryside.
Firstly
, moving industry outside metropolises may cause environmental problems in the new areas
and, therefore
, increase pollution in the whole country. Moreover
, building new companies and manufacturers means violating more green spaces and vegetation, which is also
a serious worry. In addition
to this
, a Brazilian study that was published at Sant Paolo University in 2021 revealed that constructing new manufactories in rural areas
in Brazil has led to a rise in temperatures in those cities
by at least 5 degrees over 2 years.
Furthermore
, the lack of workforce and rudimentary infrastructure in the countryside form an obstacle for companies which plan to expand in those areas
. These drawbacks may lead to serious financial damages as well as
deficiency in production. In addition
to this
, a study published at Harvard University in 2021 illustrated that only 15% of businesses that branched from megacities to smaller regional areas
have succeeded, and the rest percentage have closed their business
after one year.
In conclusion, some investors may be motivated to expand their business
in rural cities
. Such
a step may have several consequences in terms of environmental effects and the capability of new investment to succeed. One idea that can be mentioned, is to think of special areas
where all companies and industries can operate their business
far away from fresh rural cities
.Submitted by wathiq.online22 on
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task achievement
To achieve a higher score, ensure that all arguments are fully developed and comprehensive. Some ideas could benefit from additional detail and clarification, particularly in the discussion about environmental impacts and workforce issues.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. While you have logical progression, a few more linking phrases could enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs, contributing to better coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
You have provided relevant and specific examples to support your arguments, notably the studies from Brazilian and Harvard Universities. This strengthens your essay and demonstrates your ability to incorporate research into your discussion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps the reader follow your argument easily and contributes to the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The main points you present are well-supported and tied back to the overarching argument, illustrating your ability to maintain a clear focus throughout the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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