Some parents think television programmes are good for a child’s development. Some parents disagree. What is your opinion?

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It is argued that television

programs

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are beneficial to the development of

children

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while

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some others do not agree with

this

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statement. I personally believe that television

programs

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play both positive and negative roles in the growth of young folks. On the one hand, there are two main reasons why some parents find that

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programmes are good for their offspring's growth.

Firstly

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children

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can learn

knowledge

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from television by watching educational

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programs

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faster than other media

such

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as books and radio. Delivering information via Video and audio is much more vivid and comprehensive for young

people

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to absorb

knowledge

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Secondly

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, youngsters can gain non-curriculum

knowledge

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and widen their horizons by watching

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programmes,

as a result

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, it will be

further

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beneficial to their future careers.

For example

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, young

people

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can get to know Indian culture by watching a documentary about India,

therefore

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, they might easily make friends with Indian colleagues in their future workplaces since they know Indian culture.

On the other hand

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programs

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also

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have negative influences on the development of young

people

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since they can develop some bad habits by watching

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shows, and become addicted to

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programs

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. Generally, young

people

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are not able to filter negative news and fake information from

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shows, and they will learn some bad habits

such

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as smoking and drinking when they find their idols on

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have these behaviours.

Similarly

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children

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can become addicted to

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programs

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shows are more interesting and relaxing than reading books and doing sports.

Furthermore

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, young

people

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will become less interested in their academic study and physical exercises. In conclusion,

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programs

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have positive impacts on the progress of

children

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children

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can accept

knowledge

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faster and gain additional

knowledge

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however

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, the negative sides of

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shows cannot be ignored.

shaojiedangMon Nov 06 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay is generally well-organized with clear paragraphing and logical argument development. However, you could try to make your argumentation stronger by developing your ideas even more extensively.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction and conclusion are well presented, each clearly outlines and summarises the argument. Keep up the good work here!

supported main points

The main points are well supported and lucidly explained. Adding a few more specific examples can make your argument more vivid and convincing.

complete response

The response completely addresses all parts of the task, views are developed in detail and support the argument. Try to diversify your language more and avoid repetition. Synonyms and idioms can add richness to your expression.

clear comprehensive ideas

The ideas are clear and comprehensible. To advance, consider using a wider range of sentence structures and more sophisticated vocabulary.

relevant specific examples

The essay presents some relevant examples, but you could provide more targeted ones to convincingly illustrate your opinions.

14
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

300 words

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Some parents think television programmes are good for a child’s development. Some parents disagree. What is your opinion?

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