Some parents think television programmes are good for a child’s development. Some parents disagree. What is your opinion?

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It is argued that television
programs
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are beneficial to the development of
children
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,
while
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some others do not agree with
this
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statement. I personally believe that television
programs
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play both positive and negative roles in the growth of young folks. On the one hand, there are two main reasons why some parents find that
TV
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programmes are good for their offspring's growth.
Firstly
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,
children
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can learn
knowledge
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from television by watching educational
TV
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programs
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faster than other media
such
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as books and radio. Delivering information via Video and audio is much more vivid and comprehensive for young
people
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to absorb
knowledge
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.
Secondly
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, youngsters can gain non-curriculum
knowledge
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and widen their horizons by watching
TV
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programmes,
as a result
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, it will be
further
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beneficial to their future careers.
For example
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, young
people
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can get to know Indian culture by watching a documentary about India,
therefore
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, they might easily make friends with Indian colleagues in their future workplaces since they know Indian culture.
On the other hand
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,
TV
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programs
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also
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have negative influences on the development of young
people
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since they can develop some bad habits by watching
TV
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shows, and become addicted to
TV
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programs
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. Generally, young
people
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are not able to filter negative news and fake information from
TV
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shows, and they will learn some bad habits
such
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as smoking and drinking when they find their idols on
TV
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have these behaviours.
Similarly
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,
children
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can become addicted to
TV
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programs
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as
TV
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shows are more interesting and relaxing than reading books and doing sports.
Furthermore
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, young
people
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will become less interested in their academic study and physical exercises. In conclusion,
TV
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programs
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have positive impacts on the progress of
children
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as
children
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can accept
knowledge
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faster and gain additional
knowledge
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,
however
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, the negative sides of
TV
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shows cannot be ignored.
Submitted by shaojiedang on

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coherence cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized with clear paragraphing and logical argument development. However, you could try to make your argumentation stronger by developing your ideas even more extensively.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are well presented, each clearly outlines and summarises the argument. Keep up the good work here!
supported main points
The main points are well supported and lucidly explained. Adding a few more specific examples can make your argument more vivid and convincing.
complete response
The response completely addresses all parts of the task, views are developed in detail and support the argument. Try to diversify your language more and avoid repetition. Synonyms and idioms can add richness to your expression.
clear comprehensive ideas
The ideas are clear and comprehensible. To advance, consider using a wider range of sentence structures and more sophisticated vocabulary.
relevant specific examples
The essay presents some relevant examples, but you could provide more targeted ones to convincingly illustrate your opinions.
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