In many socities, there is a growing emphasis on individualism , with people priortizing their personal goals and desires over collective interests.

Working and focusing on a career is an important aspect of every individual's life. Some people put their personal goals over collective interests.

This

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essay will explain its effects on individuals and on society. People

work

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consistently and focus on their goals.

To begin

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with, youngsters

work

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constantly to build their careers. They

work

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overtime to fulfil their needs and desires.

For instance

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, if an independent person wants to buy a house, they need to

work

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accordingly

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to fulfil their dream.

Secondly

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, people like to

work

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alone because they want to prove their ability to society and earn respect. They like to compete with their coworkers and show them their skills to earn respect.

Moreover

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, it leads to personal gain because after working frequently and fulfilling their own interest, it has positive effects on the company goals and leads to the promotion of a person. Every action has its consequences. First and foremost, companies get reviews on Google because of their best employee. Working alone and performing well benefits the company and helps them to grow their business.

Moreover

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, businesses earn a lot of money in the fiscal year.

For instance

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, if an employee engages at the workplace in the restaurant to provide the best customer service, the general public refers the restaurant to their loved ones.

This

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also

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called word of mouth.

To conclude

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, I would like to say that hardwork is key to success. Working alone with full determination leads to success because of no distractions and helps to build a bright future.

Moreover

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, it helps the business to grow and helps them to earn more in the fiscal year.

lakshaybhatia1350

Nov 7, 2023

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Task Response

Ensure that all parts of the essay directly address the given prompt. State the purpose of the essay clearly and maintain a clear focus throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion

Organize the essay in a logical and coherent manner, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Use appropriate transition words and phrases to connect ideas.

Lexical Resource

Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and varied words to express your ideas. Also, pay attention to collocations and idiomatic expressions.

Grammatical Range

Improve your grammatical accuracy by reviewing common grammatical structures and avoiding repetitive errors. Vary your sentence structures and use more complex sentence forms.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

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In many socities, there is a growing emphasis on individualism , with people priortizing their personal goals and desires over collective interests.

Your opinion

Some people think that the success of life is based on hard work and determination. Others, however, believe that there are more important factors, such as having money or a good appearance. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school.

Some countries are struggling with an increase in the rate of crime. Many people think that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce crime. To what extent do you agree?

Some students take one year off between finishing school and going to university in order to travel or to work do you think advantags outweigh vote disadvantages