IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that a country should produce food locally, while others believe that it is good to import food. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion and relevant examples.

#people #country #food #import
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Nowadays the
production
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 of local
food
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 has become a controversial matter because the opinion of the community is divided between to remain stick to the local
products
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 or imported
food
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. Personally, I believe that having the resources to cultivate or manufacture national
products
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 will generate a positive impact on the economy,
while
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 imported
products
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 could be hit in the opposite way the Country's economy and financial issues will affect the nation. In
this
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 essay, I will explain how beneficial will be to encourage the population to produce national goods.
Firstly
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, as per the geographic characteristics of each country, there is a wide range of
products
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 that could be harvested per season or some others all over the year.
This
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 means that a positive impact generates local employment in those fields and at the same time brings up the opportunity to consume fresh
products
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 without preservatives that have to be added to extend their shelve life. Both will affect positive on the population's finances because diminish the unemployment situation and at the same time the
food
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 cost of their groceries will be less. Another aspect to consider is that raw materials for the
food
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 industry will be acquired at the lowest costs rather than if the
food
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production
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 chain is based on imported items.
For example
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, if there is a Tomato paste industry and is it possible to cover the demand with the national
production
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 of tomatoes all the
production
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 costs will be dropped and the final product will have a lower acquisition value for the consumer. It is a clear example that explains the economic and financial positive impact coming from the local
production
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 of goods. In conclusion, Imported
products
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 should be for those options that are not able to be produced locally
while
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 local
production
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 should be promoted for a wide national benefit of the population.
Submitted by mantonieta.albarracin on

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structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. You've done well in including these, but further clarification in transitions between ideas would enhance readability.
content
It's crucial to develop your main points with specific examples. Increase the range and specificity of examples to support your arguments more convincingly.
cohesion
Work on refining the cohesion of ideas. Using linking words and phrases can help create a smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task response
To improve task achievement, ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the task. This includes discussing both sides of the argument to some extent before stating your position.
language
Pay attention to grammar and vocabulary. Varied sentence structures and a wider range of vocabulary can both help to clarify your arguments and make your writing more engaging.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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