Some people think that sending criminals to prison is not effective. Education and job training should be used instead. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #criminals #prison #education #job

Some

people

reckon that when they punish offenders,

instead

of sending them to prison, it is better to take

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

advantage of education and training. From my point of view, I totally disagree with

this

statement and

this

essay will pinpoint my own perspective. There are several reasons to support the idea that wrongdoers should be sent to prison.

Firstly

, incarceration removes dangerous

individuals

Change noun form

individuals'

individual's

show examples

immediate threat they pose to public safety. To be more specific, nowadays, there is an increasing focus among policy-makers and practitioners on identifying programs and strategies that will have

criminials

Correct your spelling

criminals

criminal

successfully reintegrate back into

community

Add an article

the community

show examples

Therefore

, prisons are

also

proved

Correct your spelling

proven

show examples

to be the place

that

Correct word choice

where

show examples

criminals

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

seperated

Correct your spelling

separated

from innocent

people

and prevent

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society from falling into chaos

as well as

remider

Correct your spelling

reminder

of their

faulty

Replace the word

faults

show examples

Moreover

while

education and vocational

trainings

Change the wording

training

pieces of training

show examples

may help lawbreakers enhance their awareness and the ability

of employing

Replace the preposition

to employ

show examples

, it cannot be an effective solution as they could engage in crime again. In fact, there are

also

some criminals who are well-educated

people

For example

, one of the infamous sexual assaults was done by

the

Correct article usage

show examples

Vietnamese artist in America. It is unwise to believe that

people

who are provided with better education and life skills cannot commit

Change preposition

apply

show examples

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

. We should approve that individuals with

cold blooded

Add a hyphen

cold-blooded

show examples

or morally bad by nature could easily fall into illegal acts. In conclusion, I personally advocate that incarceration is an efficient method to deal with criminals because of the fact that not only can it keep the safety community but it

also

helps wrongdoers regret their actions when they reflect on what they have done.

Submitted by yeshomeclass on Tue Nov 07 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

Include a clear thesis statement in your introduction to indicate your position on the topic.

Task Achievement

Provide more relevant specific examples to support your arguments.

Lexical Resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the overall lexical resource of your essay.

Grammatical Range

Pay attention to the accuracy of your sentence structures and try to vary them to demonstrate a wider grammatical range.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that sending criminals to prison is not effective. Education and job training should be used instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people feel that children should be able to choose the subjects they are interested in; while others feel they should study the basic require subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many customs and traditional ways of behavior are no longer relevant to the modern life and not worth keeping. Do you agree or disagree?

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?