Some people think that sending criminals to prison is not effective. Education and job training should be used instead. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #criminals #prison #education #job

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Some

people

Use synonyms

reckon that when they punish offenders,

instead

Linking Words

of sending them to prison, it is better to take

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

advantage of education and training. From my point of view, I totally disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement and

this

Linking Words

essay will pinpoint my own perspective. There are several reasons to support the idea that wrongdoers should be sent to prison.

Firstly

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, incarceration removes dangerous

individuals

Change noun form

individuals'

individual's

show examples

immediate threat they pose to public safety. To be more specific, nowadays, there is an increasing focus among policy-makers and practitioners on identifying programs and strategies that will have

criminials

Correct your spelling

criminals

criminal

successfully reintegrate back into

community

Add an article

the community

show examples

Therefore

Linking Words

, prisons are

also

Linking Words

proved

Correct your spelling

proven

show examples

to be the place

that

Correct word choice

where

show examples

criminals

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

seperated

Correct your spelling

separated

from innocent

people

Use synonyms

and prevent

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society from falling into chaos

as well as

Linking Words

remider

Correct your spelling

reminder

of their

faulty

Replace the word

faults

show examples

Moreover

Linking Words

while

Linking Words

education and vocational

trainings

Change the wording

training

pieces of training

show examples

may help lawbreakers enhance their awareness and the ability

of employing

Replace the preposition

to employ

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, it cannot be an effective solution as they could engage in crime again. In fact, there are

also

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some criminals who are well-educated

people

Use synonyms

For example

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, one of the infamous sexual assaults was done by

the

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show examples

Vietnamese artist in America. It is unwise to believe that

people

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who are provided with better education and life skills cannot commit

Change preposition

apply

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crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

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. We should approve that individuals with

cold blooded

Add a hyphen

cold-blooded

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or morally bad by nature could easily fall into illegal acts. In conclusion, I personally advocate that incarceration is an efficient method to deal with criminals because of the fact that not only can it keep the safety community but it

also

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helps wrongdoers regret their actions when they reflect on what they have done.

Submitted by yeshomeclass on Tue Nov 07 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

Include a clear thesis statement in your introduction to indicate your position on the topic.

Task Achievement

Provide more relevant specific examples to support your arguments.

Lexical Resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the overall lexical resource of your essay.

Grammatical Range

Pay attention to the accuracy of your sentence structures and try to vary them to demonstrate a wider grammatical range.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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Some people think that sending criminals to prison is not effective. Education and job training should be used instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Music has always been and continues to be the universal language of mankind. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, there are a large number of coffee shops and fast-food vendors on high streets and in town centers. Why are there so many of these outlets? What effect is this having on the society?

In some countries, the average body weight is increasing, health and fitness levels are decreasing, what are the causes for this problem and what measeure can be taken to prevent this ?

People think that government should increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles to solve environmental problems. Give your opinion.

Global warming is one of the biggest threats human faces in 21st century and sea levels are continuing to rise at an alarming rate. What problems are associated with this and what are some possible solutions?