Doctors should be responsible for educating their patients about how to improve their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#doctors #patients #health

this

day and age, it is unreasonable to underestimate the importance of

doctors

towards other individuals as they play a crucial role in diagnosing and guiding their

patients

about their

health

issues. From my point of view, I fairly agree with

this

statement and

this

essay will discuss my own perspective.

To begin

with, many people tend to have

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

self-medication and through taking the advantage of Internet, they would

prefer

Add the particle

prefer to

show examples

do it by themselves rather than

visiting

Wrong verb form

visit

show examples

doctors

. To be more specific, several individuals think that

doctors

are too expensive for them to afford so they decide to take care of their

health

on their own. Since

Internet

Add an article

the Internet

show examples

is common and

widenly

Correct your spelling

widely

used, they could easily search for their symptoms.

For example

, when facing

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

ailments

such

as fever or cold, they prefer self-treatment by combining with online access.

However

while

self-medication is cheap, sometimes it can be fatal. I personally advocate that it is better to have

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

guidance and training from

doctors

who seem to have the valuable knowledge and experience that can empower

patients

about their

health

. Obviously, by being provided with specialized knowledge and proficiency,

doctors

could check out the

health

conditions and propose

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

effective descriptions for each

patients

Change to a singular noun

patient

show examples

Consequently

, thanks to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

worthwhile methods and

right

Correct article usage

the right

show examples

plans from

doctors

patients

will be able to boost their

health

effectively. In conclusion,despite the

practicial

Correct your spelling

practical

the-medication

Correct your spelling

the medication

show examples

, the majority of people, including me believe that

doctors

could be indispensable friends because of

numerous

Correct article usage

the numerous

show examples

advantages they could give to

patients

Submitted by yeshomeclass on Tue Nov 07 2023

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coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are missing. It is essential to provide a clear introduction that introduces the topic and your position, as well as a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your position.

task achievement

While the main points are supported, it would be beneficial to provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.

lexical resource

The essay demonstrates a satisfactory use of vocabulary. To enhance your lexical resource score, try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and use more precise and academic terms.

grammatical range

The essay shows some sentence variety and grammatical accuracy. To improve your grammatical range score, make sure to use a variety of sentence structures and check for any grammar errors.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

holistic approach
preventive measures
chronic diseases
medical interventions
healthcare professionals
consultations
dietitians
health educators
literacy skills
visual aids
digital tools
reputable online resources
community programs
ongoing support
patient outcomes
initial guidance
mitigated
follow-up consultations

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Doctors should be responsible for educating their patients about how to improve their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Most people are not interested in how their food has been produced. They only care about how much it costs. To what extent to you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience You should write at least 250 words.

according to some recent research rates for committing crime after a criminal's release are concerning at such high numbers, although unspecified.

Nowadays, instead of locally sourced produce, many supermarkets sell a variety of foods imported from countries all across the world. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Compare and contrast the advantages & disadvantages

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?