IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

All cars that burns fossil fuels should be banned and electric car should replace them. Do you agree or disagree

#cars #burns #fuels #car
In the modern
world
, the energy car is increasing
due to
 many
people
 think that these
cars
 are good for
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
. I agree that energy
cars
 should replace normal
cars
.
This
 essay will discuss why many
people
 need to
use
 energy
cars
 from my point of view and will give reasons from my experiences.
To begin
 with, the benefit of electric
cars
.
Firstly
, electric
cars
 are good for
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 because these
cars
use
 natural
power
such
 as the
power
 from the sun, and the
power
 of electricity.
For instance
, the survey found that 80 per cent per cent of developed countries like Finland and
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
 are using electric
cars
, and the result showed that the environments in their countries are better.
Thus
, I believe that driving electric
cars
 is valuable and
this
 action will take care of
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 around the
world
 many researchers
said
Wrong verb form
say
show examples
 that
fossil
Fix the agreement mistake
fossils
show examples
 may be harmful to our
world
.
On the other hand
, many
people
 think that
power
cars
 and battery chargers are expensive,
however
, I think that the cost will decline because I think that if many
people
use
power
cars
, electric
cars
 and charger costs will decline, and I believe
that is
 not more than ten years, many
people
 will
use
 it.
Therefore
, I would like to recommend the new generation of
people
 to drive it because
this
 is the best way to save our
world
.
To sum up
, I totally agree that electric
cars
 should replace
cars
 that burn fossil because
electric
Add an article
the electric
show examples
 car takes care of our
environment
.
Submitted by itchayatop31 on

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task response
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas in a more coherent and logical manner.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your writing.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structures and grammar to improve the overall clarity of your writing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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