The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some
people
believe that the health quality of the coming generations will be worse than current.
However
Add a comma
However,
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there are some
counter-view
Fix the agreement mistake
counter-views
show examples
on
this
point. Both sides and my opinion are declared in
this
essay. There are two general types of health: physical and mental. Nowadays
people
tend to have a
sitting
Correct word choice
sedentary
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lifestyle, spend more than 10 hours per day online,
having
Wrong verb form
and have
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bad eating habits. Life is more convenient than ever and leaving a comfort zone is a feat.
Consequently
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Consequently,
show examples
mental health is affected by a poor environment,
stress
, a lack of physical activity and desocialization. A lot of
people
suffer from psychiatric disorders. With
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
rapid
grow
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growth
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of urbanization and virtual
entertainment
Add a comma
entertainment,
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it becomes harder to overcome communication barriers and resist
stress
.
However
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However,
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sport
Change the noun form
sports
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activities have never been
so
Correct word choice
as
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accessible as now. Nice work conditions, AI and automation leave more free time for
people
. Gyms, swimming pools, fitness
centers
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centres
show examples
, workout grounds,
Correct word choice
and sport
show examples
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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clubs organized by amateurs can be found in almost every district of any sized city. If you prefer to do sport alone, the amount of homesport phone applications is overlapping. Food deliveries offer a wide range of healthy food if home cooking is unavailable. It is proven that exercise releases
stress
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
increases
Correct word choice
and increases
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dopamine and life satisfaction.
In
addition
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addition,
show examples
the psychology industry rocketed.
People
can choose between a professional therapist, online courses and self-help books and videos.
In
addition
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addition,
show examples
medicine is developing rapidly. Most of the diseases can be cured. So with
progress
Add a comma
progress,
show examples
it seems that diseases are no longer a huge problem. Especially when
average
Correct article usage
the average
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life has increased by 10 years since 1950. To
me
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me,
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the future seems more positive rather than negative. Today
people
have more time and opportunities than ever to be in shape and conscious. It is always about
people
's
choice
Fix the agreement mistake
choices
show examples
and I clearly. see the trend that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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most part of humankind chooses to be healthy.
Finally
, despite the bad environment and a lot of
stress
, there are a lot of methods to resist it. Including trends for exercising,
psychology
Replace the word
psychological
show examples
treatment and developing the medicine industry.
Submitted by iundtgleb on

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Task Response
Make sure to clearly state your position on the statement in the introduction.
Coherence and Cohesion
Provide a more comprehensive introduction and conclusion that summarize your arguments.
Lexical Resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and expressions to enhance your writing.
Grammatical Range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to avoid errors and improve fluency.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Standard of health
  • 2. Average
  • 3. Lower
  • 4. Future
  • 5. Aging population
  • 6. Chronic diseases
  • 7. Sedentary lifestyle
  • 8. Lack of exercise
  • 9. Poor dietary habits
  • 10. Environmental pollution
  • 11. Technological advancements
  • 12. Impact on health
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