The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Some
people
believe that the health quality of the coming generations will be worse than current. However
there are some Add a comma
However,
counter-view
on Fix the agreement mistake
counter-views
this
point. Both sides and my opinion are declared in this
essay.
There are two general types of health: physical and mental. Nowadays people
tend to have a sitting
lifestyle, spend more than 10 hours per day online, Correct word choice
sedentary
having
bad eating habits. Life is more convenient than ever and leaving a comfort zone is a feat. Wrong verb form
and have
Consequently
mental health is affected by a poor environment, Add a comma
Consequently,
stress
, a lack of physical activity and desocialization. A lot of people
suffer from psychiatric disorders. With a
rapid Correct article usage
the
grow
of urbanization and virtual Replace the word
growth
entertainment
it becomes harder to overcome communication barriers and resist Add a comma
entertainment,
stress
.
However
Add a comma
However,
sport
activities have never been Change the noun form
sports
so
accessible as now. Nice work conditions, AI and automation leave more free time for Correct word choice
as
people
. Gyms, swimming pools, fitness centers
, workout grounds, Change the spelling
centres
Correct word choice
and sport
sport
clubs organized by amateurs can be found in almost every district of any sized city. If you prefer to do sport alone, the amount of homesport phone applications is overlapping. Food deliveries offer a wide range of healthy food if home cooking is unavailable. It is proven that exercise releases Change the noun form
sports
stress
,
Remove the comma
apply
increases
dopamine and life satisfaction. Correct word choice
and increases
In
addition
the psychology industry rocketed. Add a comma
addition,
People
can choose between a professional therapist, online courses and self-help books and videos. In
addition
medicine is developing rapidly. Most of the diseases can be cured. So with Add a comma
addition,
progress
it seems that diseases are no longer a huge problem. Especially when Add a comma
progress,
average
life has increased by 10 years since 1950.
To Correct article usage
the average
me
the future seems more positive rather than negative. Today Add a comma
me,
people
have more time and opportunities than ever to be in shape and conscious. It is always about people
's choice
and I clearly. see the trend that Fix the agreement mistake
choices
the
most part of humankind chooses to be healthy.
Correct article usage
apply
Finally
, despite the bad environment and a lot of stress
, there are a lot of methods to resist it. Including trends for exercising, psychology
treatment and developing the medicine industry.Replace the word
psychological
Submitted by iundtgleb on
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Task Response
Make sure to clearly state your position on the statement in the introduction.
Coherence and Cohesion
Provide a more comprehensive introduction and conclusion that summarize your arguments.
Lexical Resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and expressions to enhance your writing.
Grammatical Range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to avoid errors and improve fluency.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
