Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
With the widespread use of
smartphones
Use synonyms
among
children
Use synonyms
, concerns about their mental well-being have increased. Many young users spend excessive
time
Use synonyms
on their devices, which can lead to anxiety, reduced attention spans, and social withdrawal.
Although
Linking Words
smartphones
Use synonyms
provide access to educational resources and digital connections, I believe their overuse significantly harms
children
Use synonyms
’s mental health. One major issue is the influence of social media. Platforms
such
Linking Words
as Instagram and TikTok promote unrealistic beauty standards and materialistic lifestyles, often causing
children
Use synonyms
to develop low self-esteem.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the pressure to gain likes and followers can create emotional stress.
Additionally
Linking Words
, cyberbullying has become more common, as
children
Use synonyms
may face online harassment, which negatively affects their confidence and
overall
Linking Words
well-being. Another critical factor is the disruption of sleep patterns. Many
children
Use synonyms
use
smartphones
Use synonyms
late at night, exposing themselves to blue light, which reduces melatonin production.
As a result
Linking Words
, they struggle with poor sleep quality, leading to fatigue, irritability, and difficulty concentrating in school.
Moreover
Linking Words
, excessive screen
time
Use synonyms
is linked to shorter attention spans, making it harder for
children
Use synonyms
to focus on tasks or engage in meaningful conversations. Despite the benefits of digital learning, excessive smartphone use leads to serious psychological consequences.
For instance
Linking Words
, studies show that
children
Use synonyms
who spend too much
time
Use synonyms
on screens are more likely to experience depression and social anxiety. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
smartphones
Use synonyms
offer educational and entertainment value, their overuse has harmful effects on
children
Use synonyms
’s mental health. Parents should establish screen
time
Use synonyms
limits and encourage outdoor activities to promote a balanced lifestyle.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider providing specific examples or studies to support your claims about the effects of smartphone use on mental health.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task prompt comprehensively, discussing both the reasons for excessive smartphone use and providing a clear opinion on its impacts.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, clearly outlining the main argument and summarizing points effectively.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the issue, making the argument easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
What to do next:
Look at other essays: