IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some peoole think that cities are the best place to live. Others prefer to live in countryside. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

#peoole #cities #place #countryside
Cities are more linked
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
 world because of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
technology
Replace the word
technological
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 advancement. Many
people
migrating
Wrong verb form
migrate
show examples
 to cities from
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
 to look for
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
.
However
, for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 living in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
 is a good choice to live. The
author's
Change the noun form
authors
author
show examples
 agree with
this
 opinion, but
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 essay will analyze based on both
sides
Change noun form
side's
sides'
show examples
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
 of view. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, living in
metropolis
Correct article usage
a metropolis
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 giving many opportunities for
people
 to live.
For instance
, there are many
college
Change to a plural noun
colleges
show examples
 to attend for
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 and many
corporation
Fix the agreement mistake
corporations
show examples
 open employment vacancies. In
addtion
Correct your spelling
addition
, there are many facilities that are not available in other places.
For instance
, big cities have more qualified hospitals rather than in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
.
Moreover
, many
people
suffered
Wrong verb form
suffer
show examples
live
Change the word
living
show examples
 in
big
Add an article
the big
a big
show examples
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
show examples
 because of the pressure at work and
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
 cost of living.
On the other hand
, moving to the
countryside
 has unlimited benefits. There are case
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
 about connectivity between
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 and nature for human impact. The result of
this
 case, over 75%
villagers
Change preposition
of villagers
show examples
 have no anxiety
and
Correct word choice
or
show examples
 psychiatric problems. To give an example,
people
Correct pronoun usage
who lived
show examples
lived
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
 are more inclined to be friendly rather than live in
city
Add an article
the city
a city
show examples
. Other than that, living in
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 an opportunity to become close
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 nature.
This
 method has benefits
to release
Change preposition
in releasing
show examples
 negative
emotion
Fix the agreement mistake
emotions
show examples
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
 body. In conclusion, there are countless
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 for
people
 to live in
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
besides
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 in municipalities.
Furthermore
, we need to think carefully before
decide
Change the form of the verb
deciding
show examples
 to move to
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
 or
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
. There are countless benefits for each option, but prefer to look at
drawback
Correct article usage
the drawback
show examples
 option as well.
Submitted by hwidyadana on

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introduction
Ensure the introduction clearly presents the purpose of the essay and includes your thesis statement.
coherence
Use a range of cohesive devices to structure your essay and articulate the relationship between ideas more clearly.
supporting information
Provide a clearer and more detailed explanation of your examples to effectively support your main points.
task response
Be sure to answer all parts of the prompt. Discuss both views and give your opinion with specific reasons.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to convey precise meanings and avoid repetition of words and phrases.
grammatical range
Use a variety of complex sentence structures to show off your English ability. Pay attention to sentence construction and punctuation to avoid errors.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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