People living in large cities today face many problems in their everyday life. What are these problems? What should governments do to solve the problems?

#people #cities #face #life #governments

It is said that residents in large cities

leading

Wrong verb form

lead

show examples

to several concerns. In

this

essay, I’ll clarify these issues and suggest some solutions that governments can take into consideration to solve.

To begin

with, I think the biggest problem is population growth. The reasons are varied. The first reason is that it can make living expenses increase. The proportion is more and

more increased

Wrong verb form

increasing

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so the employment opportunities are

decreased

Wrong verb form

decreasing

show examples

. Meanwhile, commodity prices increase too much. The second reason is increased levels of pollution.

Due to

high volumes of traffic, the number of congestion is huge.

For

this

reason, noise pollution seems to be common. Ho Chi Minh City is a prime example;

with

Change preposition

apply

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a large proportion, the loud car alarms affect significantly the quality of life.

Due to

the fact that there are a lot of issues, I propose some solutions.

Firstly

, planners and developers should create more green spaces for residents. It can encourage people to stay outdoors and improve their health.

For instance

, in 2018, after Jacker Park was inaugurated, there were a lot of people going there to do

excercies

Correct your spelling

exercises

exercise

Secondly

, the developers should provide more cultural areas, provide venues for art, music, and street

theater

Change the spelling

theatre

show examples

Therefore

, these kinds of performance spaces should be prioritized.

Thirdly

, government should provide more job opportunities for residents, and encourage businesses to develop. It can reduce the dwellers’ financial stress and improve their life quantity. In conclusion, from all the reasons I have mentioned above, I think there are a lot of

Correct your spelling

concern

concerns

cencern

Correct your spelling

concerns

that government should solve

Submitted by Soobinsj13 on Tue Nov 07 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay's structure needs improvement to ensure clarity and the logical progression of ideas. It would benefit from clearer topic sentences and better paragraphing.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present but could be more effectively written. In particular, the conclusion could restate the main points more clearly and provide a stronger final thought.

task achievement

While the essay attempts to answer the prompt, it needs to provide a more detailed exploration of the problems and proposed solutions for them to be considered well-supported.

task achievement

The essay lacks a clear comprehensive response to the task. There is some repetition and lack of detail, which weakens the overall content. Elaborate on the ideas and provide in-depth analysis to enhance task achievement.

task achievement

Some of the examples provided are relevant but need to be further developed to strongly support the main points. More specific details and explanation would strengthen the argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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People living in large cities today face many problems in their everyday life. What are these problems? What should governments do to solve the problems?

Include an introduction and conclusion

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.

Some people think that exercise is the key to health while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Some people think that people should be given the right to use freshwater as they like. Others believe governments should strictly control the use of freshwater. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that the government should provide free education at every level. However, some says that individuals should pay for their university education. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience. What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?