Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #money #poverty #aid

Nowadays developed nations spend more and more on financial help to the poorer countries, but

unfortinatly

Correct your spelling

unfortunately

this

does not solve

problem

Add an article

the problem

show examples

of poverty in

that

Correct determiner usage

those

show examples

places. Maybe there should be other ways to

asist

Correct your spelling

assist

developing economies

Change the punctuation

show examples

I tend to agree with

this

position, there are plenty of other ways to help.

This

essay will focus on discussing

this

issue.

Firstly

economical

Replace the word

economic

show examples

aid often becomes a significant factor in

coruption

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corruption

therfore

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therefore

it would be better to help

population

Add an article

the population

a population

show examples

of undeveloped nations directly.

Coruption

Correct your spelling

Corruption

is the main cause of financial

indtability

Correct your spelling

instability

around the globe, it is crucial to not provoke it by

unimited

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unlimited

money given directly to

corupt goverments

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corrupt governments

of failed states. There are plenty of organizations, like,

Correct article usage

the UN

show examples

and Global

food bank

Correct your spelling

Food Bank

show examples

that can help people without local

athourities

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authorities

involment

Correct your spelling

involvement

also

,donors could consider direct payments to people in poor areas. As an example,

global

Correct article usage

the global

show examples

community

alredy

Correct your spelling

already

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

experiens

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experienced

experience

Change preposition

apply

show examples

first hand

Add a hyphen

first-hand

show examples

aid to those, who struggle. The most notable are

Correct your spelling

show examples

agencies , like , UNRWA.

This

agencie

Correct your spelling

agency

provides

everething

Correct your spelling

everything

needed for millions of

refuges

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refugees

show examples

from

israeli-arab

Correct article usage

the israeli-arab

show examples

conflict.

While

also

not

colaborating

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collaborating

with

quyetionable

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questionable

arab

goverments

Correct your spelling

governments

and organizations.

Secondly

, loans on

infrustructure

Correct your spelling

infrastructure

project

Fix the agreement mistake

projects

show examples

are

also

a major option. On the one hand, money transactions are

regulary

Correct your spelling

regularly

being

spend

Wrong verb form

spent

show examples

basical

Correct your spelling

basic

utilities,

while

Correct word choice

which

show examples

does not improve

general

Add an article

the general

show examples

problem of poverty.

On the other hand

, loans are being directed to

infrastructer

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infrastructure

and factories.

Thus

creating

higher paying

Add a hyphen

higher-paying

show examples

jobs and possibilities for poor countries to invest in education and

sience

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science

. To give an example, there are a number of investment projects in Africa by Chinese central and agriculture banks.

This

Change the determiner

These

show examples

projects

are focusing

Wrong verb form

focus

show examples

on railroads and factories, roads and mines.

Moreover

, they are

almoust

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almost

procent

Correct your spelling

per cent

interest. They are giving

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

huge

aportunities

Correct your spelling

opportunities

to locals and their homelands to

develope

Correct your spelling

develop

and become

welthy

Correct your spelling

wealthy

. In conclusion, rich nations can and should help their poorer

neigbors

Correct your spelling

neighbours

, but it is important to do it

effectevly

Correct your spelling

effectively

. To not provoke more problems and to give them a chance

Change preposition

for

show examples

consistent development. And I think that presented

higlits

Correct your spelling

highlights

how

humaty

Correct your spelling

humanity

can

achive

Correct your spelling

achieve

this

Submitted by acaitaz on Tue Nov 07 2023

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task response

Work on refining your argument structure to enhance readability. A clear thesis statement in your introduction can help guide the reader through your essay.

task response

Ensure your ideas are clearly and comprehensively presented. Avoid overly complex sentences if they compromise clarity, and aim to develop each idea fully before moving on to the next point.

task response

Support your arguments with a wider range of specific examples. This strengthens your essay by showing a broader understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

Implement transitions more effectively between paragraphs and within them to enhance the flow of your essay. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly.

coherence cohesion

Check your essay for spelling and grammatical errors. Consistency in spelling, particularly with key terms, adds to the professional quality of your writing.

coherence cohesion

To strengthen your argument, ensure that each main point is clearly supported by evidence or examples, and that the connection to your thesis is evident. This will make your essay more persuasive and cohesive.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
55Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

344 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

poverty alleviation
economic inequality
developing nations
foreign aid
sustainable growth
technical assistance
expertise
infrastructure
education
fair trade
trade barriers
sustainable development
environmental conservation

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Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that poverty is the reason behind most crimes. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some scientists think that computers will soon become more intelligent than humans. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Competition for university study is becoming increasingly strong. Why are universities becoming more competitive? Is this a positive or negative development?

Many people believe that good planning is the key factor to success in life, while others believe that other factors like hard work or luck are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

For many people, the reason they work is to earn money. To what extent do you agree?