Caring for children is important in any society. All parents should be required to take training courses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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A handful of people ponder that every mankind should know that
childcarecare
Correct your spelling
childcare
is a crucial part of life.
Therefore
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,
parents
Use synonyms
need to take particular training
courses
Use synonyms
for it. I am in consummate accord with
this
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notion and will explicate my viewpoint in the forthcoming paragraph. The predominant justification to support my point is that in
this
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cutting-edge era,
due to
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the changes in living life,
parents
Use synonyms
need to be extra prepared for child care
such
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as, by taking training
courses
Use synonyms
.
In other words
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,
due to
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the changes in technology, there is a high chance for toddlers to get influenced or take jeopardy steps in life if the family does not pay proper attention or lack of acknowledgement of proper care will bring pessimistic effects.
For example
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, A recent survey from BBc India has found that over 10 per cent of children are getting injuries and mental issues
due to
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not being fully
supervision
Replace the word
supervised
show examples
by
parents
Use synonyms
.
As a result
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,
parents
Use synonyms
should be prepared beforehand for their kids by getting enough expertise from various training
courses
Use synonyms
because it can provide a better future for a toddler. On the paradoxical side, If mother and father start having an online training session
for gaining
Change preposition
to gain
show examples
instruction in child care, will cause them to lose their own way of teaching. To be more precise, every person has their own style of coaching for their kids
such
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as they follow the same method to educate their young ones like how their
parents
Use synonyms
or grandparents had taught them
while
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they were young.
For example
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, In many countries, families give higher priority to explaining their
tradition
Fix the agreement mistake
traditions
show examples
, and cultural values to their kids and letting them grow
according to
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it.
Consequently
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, the more the child learns from their mother and father, the more he or she will be like their family tree. In conclusion, without any doubt,
this
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is a fix bag.
While
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parents
Use synonyms
are better at teaching with their own knowledge to little ones ,
however
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, I would still provide a higher point toward joining the training
courses
Use synonyms
, since it will bring better knowledge
according to
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this
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modern age.
Submitted by harmanpreet021804 on

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lexical grammar
Try to avoid minor spelling errors, such as 'childcarecare', which should be 'childcare'.
task achievement
Ensure that all arguments are fully developed with detailed examples.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases more effectively to create smooth transitions between ideas.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the issue, which is consistently supported throughout.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and appropriate, providing a clear start and a summary of the essay.
task achievement
Good use of relevant examples to support the main points, contributing to the task achievement.
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