Some people think that computer games are bad for children m, while others believe that they are useful. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of computer games and give your own opinion.

Some would argue that video
games
are not good for kids,
while
others would say that they can provide some
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
.
While
games
can improve
children
’s language skills, I believe that they result in
children
not exercising and becoming overweight. The main advantage to playing computer
games
when a person is young
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
is that it exposes young people to foreign languages in an authentic context.
This
enables them to practice a second language in real life, which is more enjoyable and productive than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
classroom.
For example
, teenagers in Asia can chat
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
American and British people
while
they play online
games
like World of Warcraft. Despite
this
, I believe that
this
encourages
children
to lead a very sedentary lifestyle which can lead to poor health. Playing online
games
for extended periods of time means that
children
do very little exercise.
This
leads to obesity-related diseases ,
such
as diabetes and heart disease, later in life because they become obese.
For example
, it is estimated by the WHO that
children
are now 30% more likely to be fatter than kids 30 years
age
Change preposition
of age
show examples
due to
the fact that they now prefer to play indoors rather than outside where they are more likely to get exercise. I believe that
this
makes overconsumption of video
games
dangerous and they should only be used in moderation. In conclusion,
although
computer
games
can help
children
improve their linguistic ability, they
also
prevent them from getting enough exercise and they should
therefore
only be used sparingly.
Submitted by rraghad.b on

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logical structure
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relevant specific examples
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introduction conclusion present
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion.
supported main points
The main points are well supported and examples are provided to substantiate the arguments.
complete response
The essay presents a balanced discussion by providing both advantages and disadvantages of computer games.

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