Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In modern days,
sports
are widely considered to be one of the most popular
way
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ways
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to entertain the public. Contests, on a worldwide scale, are constantly organised
with
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for
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this
exact purpose.
Thus
, a fair number of governments began investing capital in order to provide professional athletes with specialised facilities,
uttery
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utterly
neglecting the option of doing so for a wider range of
population
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the population
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, sparking a debate on the positive and negative consequences of
this
decision. On one hand, with regards to the advantages of a country setting professional sportsmen's goals ahead of common people's ones might vitally benefit the way it represents itself
on
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in
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the international arena. It is no secret that vigorously trained athletes are equipped with a set of perfectly drilled skills, which are later found to be tremendously useful.
Therefore
, in certain
sports
, where there is no biological advantage over one another, more economically developed countries, namely Germany, the UK, and France, are persistently outperforming states that could not afford
investing
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to invest
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in their own infrastructures.
For instance
, those three mentioned countries are ranked
first,
second,
and third place, respectively in world football,
whereas
India, Kenya, and Moldova are nowhere near
this
, being, for most of their existence, floating at the bottom of
this
ranking. On the other side of the debate, citizens, who do not compete on a professional level, cannot be deprived of
sports
facilities, as it is a way to entertain the local population and maintain their physical health, motivating juveniles to be in constant motion and improvement. In my childhood, my friends and I would spend our time at each other's houses either playing video games or watching films.
However
, with the installation of a set of hanging bars in our common yard, we would start spending much more time outside, investigating the novelty and trying out new occupations.
To sum up
, despite having numerous strengths,
this
approach is a negative development as it excludes the broader population from
sports
opportunities and neglects the importance of inclusivity.
Submitted by acaitaz on

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coherence cohesion
The essay has a reasonable structure and both the introduction and conclusion are present. However, there are areas of improvement in ensuring smooth transitions between ideas.
task achievement
The main ideas were generally clear and relevant to the topic. However, the essay would benefit from a more thorough exploration of the public facilities aspect to fully satisfy the task achievement criteria.

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • specialised facilities
  • train top athletes
  • international sports
  • boost
  • reputation
  • attract
  • sporting events
  • access
  • general public
  • inequality
  • opportunities
  • overemphasis
  • elite sports
  • neglect
  • grassroots development
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