IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programms ( for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children) to what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Most citizens trust that non-profit organizations should be considered as complementary parts of school programs.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 essay will have
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 view, and I agree with the statement, but students should have their preference to charge for the services or not. Generally, when
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
children's

If you don’t want childrens to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

work for free to help their societies, huge benefits will be accomplished.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the spirit of collaboration and love will spread among all individuals. But,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 task should not be a compulsory service as a part of their study programmes at secondary schools because if anybody is forced to
make
Verb problem
do

There may be a verb use issue here.

show examples
 something, the person will do it, but psychologically may
confront
Correct pronoun usage
confront it

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, when freedom is given to them to choose to do
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 mission or not,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 approach will encourage them to do it.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, students who do freemium community service should be rewarded, but others
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 should not be punished. So, if
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 notion is applied, most young adults will be happy
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 performing different kinds of these services.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some of them can go to long-term facilities to help elderly people
to
Verb problem
apply

There may be a verb use issue here.

show examples
take their medication on time, and the elderly people will be happy because adolescents look after them.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, when youth do a lot of services in their country for free, many vacant jobs will be filled which is helpful to the economy. In conclusion, when young adults do unpaid tasks to serve their country, many positive consequences will be achieved for humankind and their community,
hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 to support the initiation
rewarded
Replace the word
rewards

The word rewarded doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
 should be given.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • unpaid
  • community service
  • high school programs
  • charity
  • improving
  • neighborhood
  • teaching
  • sports
  • younger children
  • values
  • skills
  • empathy
  • social responsibility
  • practical experience
  • real-world application
  • belonging
  • connection
  • career paths
  • interests
  • imposition
  • commitments
  • responsibilities
  • exploit
  • labor
  • abilities
  • suitable
What to do next:
Look at other essays: