IN BRITAIN, WHEN SOME ONE GETS OLD THEY OFTEN FO TO LIVE WITH OTHER OLDER PEOPLE WHERE THERE ARE NURSES TO LOOK AFTER THEM. SOMETIMES, GOVERNMENT HAS TO PAY FOR THEIR STAY. WHO DO YOU THINK SHOULD PAY FOR THIS CARE , GOVERNMENT OR FAMILY?

Old
people
need both friends with a chat and care, it is a fact that they are in difficulties
while
they make their own requirements in their houses. At
this
point, they require an accommodation with doctors, nurses and other consultants which makes the services much more comprehensive.
Moreover
, I think country governments are obliged to take the initiative and introduce some additional suggestions and recommendations taken by various communities.
This
article will demonstrate how to government helps older
people
and their families and explore additional suggestions and recommendations taken by various communities.
To begin
with,
as a result
of getting old, so many things change in our body, our cells become old and
this
condition affects our organs. Organs can repair themselves but when we get old
this
process is slower than we are at young ages.
As a result
of
this
, older
people
’s care costs become much higher and a lot of
people
who have not got enough money cannot afford
this
. In order to be protected from
this
situation, which now seriously threatens poor
people
, it is essential to impose additional help, especially in Britain.
In addition
, the biggest responsibility falls on governments, they will have to help these
people
without taking any money and look after them in good conditions.
In other words
, the government show itself behind older
people
and supports them in their lives. Many countries take extra measures for their community,
such
as Japan sending older
people
to different countries and paying the whole budget for them. Understanding the emotions of humans will provide numerous positive effects in another part of the system. In conclusion, older
people
design the systems which we use today, they give their full energy to make a better world. When they need help, we should
also
be there. As the situation becomes more difficult with each passing day, it is our responsibility for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future generations to consider old
people
as the first priority.
Submitted by salihzekikoni on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay does not fully address the prompt. It discusses the responsibility of the government in caring for older people, but it does not consider the role of family in this care. It is important to address both sides of the argument to fully respond to the task.
coherence and cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. The logical structure is somewhat unclear as the essay jumps between different points without a clear progression. Additionally, the use of examples and explanations could be more coherent to support the main ideas.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary and uses a mix of simple and complex language. However, there is a lack of precision in the use of vocabulary which affects the clarity and coherence of the essay.
grammatical range
The essay contains a number of grammatical errors including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. There is also inconsistency in the use of articles and prepositions. A more varied and accurate use of grammar structures would enhance the clarity of the essay.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: