Some school leavers choose to travel or work for a year before going to university. What might be the reasons for this? What are the disadvantages of this practice? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

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It has become a common practice with each passing
year
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where
Correct word choice
that
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students
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decide to gain some
real life
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real-life
show examples
experiences before their academic
year
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in
university
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.
This
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act is considered as
a
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apply
show examples
fruitful learning for individuals, to prepare them for a bigger journey and to obtain some practical experience either by work or travel.
However
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, there are some differences caused
such
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as lack of interest in education and not willing to study
further
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.
This
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easy
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essay
show examples
covers all the reasons and harms of
this
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practice. First of all, people today are becoming more aware and they opt not to follow the traditional
path way
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pathway
show examples
of going to
university
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right after
the
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apply
show examples
high school completion. Many parents and teachers agree and prefer
students
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with some market experience or any travel history as they are more confident, interactive and eager to learn.
For instance
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,
such
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students
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have developed
team building
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team-building
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abilities and can handle pressure. It has been recorded that
majority
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the majority
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achievers
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of achievers
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who are good both in
studies
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and
extra curricular
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extracurricular
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activities took a break prior
the
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to the
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academic
year
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in
university
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.
Thus
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, it is beneficial in
a
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the
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longer
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long
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run, helping them build their resume in a prosperous direction.
On the other hand
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,
this
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trend has some particular drawbacks which can leave a
long lasting
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long-lasting
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impact towards the future of the individual.
Firstly
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, joining in after a gap
year
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takes away the essence of willingness to study and achieve, it takes months or even more to get back on track
of
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with
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academics.
Secondly
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, some
students
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who start earning, for
them
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apply
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it becomes hard to quit and focus on studying, ultimately
such
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individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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leave
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studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
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and
do
Verb problem
are
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not
admit
Wrong verb form
admitted
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in
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to
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university
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programs. Recently,
the
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apply
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Wallmart's
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Walmart's
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CEO stated that
majority
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the majority
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of the salesperson they have in the stores are high school leavers who did not
continued
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continue
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their
studies
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after
break
Add an article
the break
a break
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.
Hence
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, it won't be wrong to say that
this
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idea brings a bigger concern from the future perspective.
To conclude
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, there are some people who prefer taking a break either working or
traveling
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travelling
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around before continuing their higher
studies
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. Several progressive reasons and cultural diversity contributed towards
this
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ideology
although
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with some apparent disadvantages including refraining
to obtain
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from obtaining
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a degree is a big threat
for
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to
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the future of
young
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the young
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generation.
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task response
Address all parts of the task and support your main points with relevant, specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear and consistent logical progression. Work on organizing your ideas more coherently to improve the overall structure of your essay.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is adequate, but there is room for improvement. Try to vary your vocabulary and use more precise and academic language to enhance your essay.
grammatical range
You demonstrate a good command of grammar but some errors are present. Work on eliminating grammatical errors and using a wider range of sentence structures to elevate the quality of your writing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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