Some school leavers choose to travel or work for a year before going to university. What might be the reasons for this? What are the disadvantages of this practice? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

It has become a common practice with each passing
year
where
Correct word choice
that
show examples
students
decide to gain some
real life
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
experiences before their academic
year
in
university
.
This
act is considered as
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
fruitful learning for individuals, to prepare them for a bigger journey and to obtain some practical experience either by work or travel.
However
, there are some differences caused
such
as lack of interest in education and not willing to study
further
.
This
easy
Correct your spelling
essay
show examples
covers all the reasons and harms of
this
practice. First of all, people today are becoming more aware and they opt not to follow the traditional
path way
Correct your spelling
pathway
show examples
of going to
university
right after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high school completion. Many parents and teachers agree and prefer
students
with some market experience or any travel history as they are more confident, interactive and eager to learn.
For instance
,
such
students
have developed
team building
Add a hyphen
team-building
show examples
abilities and can handle pressure. It has been recorded that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
achievers
Change preposition
of achievers
show examples
who are good both in
studies
and
extra curricular
Correct your spelling
extracurricular
show examples
activities took a break prior
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
academic
year
in
university
.
Thus
, it is beneficial in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
longer
Correct word choice
long
show examples
run, helping them build their resume in a prosperous direction.
On the other hand
,
this
trend has some particular drawbacks which can leave a
long lasting
Add a hyphen
long-lasting
show examples
impact towards the future of the individual.
Firstly
, joining in after a gap
year
takes away the essence of willingness to study and achieve, it takes months or even more to get back on track
of
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with
show examples
academics.
Secondly
, some
students
who start earning, for
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
it becomes hard to quit and focus on studying, ultimately
such
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
leave
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
show examples
and
do
Verb problem
are
show examples
not
admit
Wrong verb form
admitted
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
university
programs. Recently,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Wallmart's
Correct your spelling
Walmart's
show examples
CEO stated that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
of the salesperson they have in the stores are high school leavers who did not
continued
Change the verb form
continue
show examples
their
studies
after
break
Add an article
the break
a break
show examples
.
Hence
, it won't be wrong to say that
this
idea brings a bigger concern from the future perspective.
To conclude
, there are some people who prefer taking a break either working or
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
around before continuing their higher
studies
. Several progressive reasons and cultural diversity contributed towards
this
ideology
although
with some apparent disadvantages including refraining
to obtain
Change preposition
from obtaining
show examples
a degree is a big threat
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the future of
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation.
Submitted by abid.srm on

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task response
Address all parts of the task and support your main points with relevant, specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear and consistent logical progression. Work on organizing your ideas more coherently to improve the overall structure of your essay.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is adequate, but there is room for improvement. Try to vary your vocabulary and use more precise and academic language to enhance your essay.
grammatical range
You demonstrate a good command of grammar but some errors are present. Work on eliminating grammatical errors and using a wider range of sentence structures to elevate the quality of your writing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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