The bar chart below shows the percentage of people who ate five portions of fruit and vegetables per day in U.K. from 2001 to 2008.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of people who ate five portions of fruit and vegetables per day in U.K. from 2001 to 2008.
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The chart given below represents the proportion of people who ate five
portions
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of fruits and
vegetables
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per day in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
in 8 years from 2001 to 2008. The chart clearly shows that the percentage of
Women
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who ate five
portions
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of
fruit
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was higher than both
Men
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as well as
Linking Words
Children
Use synonyms
over all those years. In the
year
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2001, more than 20% of
women
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ate 5
portions
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of
fruit
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whereas
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around 17% of
men
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ate 5
portions
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of
fruit
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and around 12.5% of
children
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ate 5
portions
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of
fruit
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. Graphs of both
men
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and
women
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who ate 5
portions
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of
fruits
Fix the agreement mistake
fruit
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increased from the
year
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2001 to the
year
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2003,
while
Linking Words
the graph of
children
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who ate 5
portions
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of food was constant. From the
year
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2006 to 2008, the percentage of
women
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who ate 5
portions
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of
fruit
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decreased dramatically from more than 30% in 2006 to around 30% in 2008.
Moreover
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, the graphs of
men
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and
children
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who ate 5
portions
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of
fruit
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also
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fell but
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
a constant rate.
Use synonyms
Year
Change the article
The year
show examples
2006 experienced
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
peak in the graph. In 2006, more than 30% of
women
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ate 5
portions
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of
fruit
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, 27.5% of
men
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ate 5
portions
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of
fruit
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and
vegetables
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and more than 23% of
children
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ate 5
portions
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of
fruit
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and
vegetables
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.
To sum up
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, the percentage of
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
population who ate 5
portions
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of
fruit
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and
vegetables
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in the
year
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2008 was roughly 1.5 times as compared to the
year
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2001.
Submitted by jayeshnain03 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words portions, vegetables, women, fruit, men, children, year with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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