Shopping has developed from a necessary activity to a kind of entertainment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some

people

Use synonyms

say that shopping has become an entertainment rather than a necessity. I agree with that statement

due to

Linking Words

a huge waste of money in that area from Western societies. Many

people

Use synonyms

waste a lot of money from buying things that they do not need to.

This

Linking Words

is because they want to impress others by showing their status. Many individuals think that buying something expensive,

such

Linking Words

as a new phone or clothes from a luxury brand shows other

people

Use synonyms

how rich they are.

This

Linking Words

development leads

people

Use synonyms

to buy new stuff with a larger perspective and with a higher desire.

For instance

Linking Words

, the research provided by the National American University claims that one-third of residents’ expenditures are devoted to shopping.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, in a capitalist world, society has a symptom of overconsumption. In a world where

people

Use synonyms

are encouraged to spend their money buying new things, no one considers shopping as a necessary part of life. Nowadays,

due to

Linking Words

TV and social media trends, the population wants to rechange their clothes even if they are in good shape and still can be used.

This

Linking Words

is because citizens want to be on the same track as modern society and follow new fashion trends, and whenever the old one ends,

people

Use synonyms

run to buy new stuff.

For example

Linking Words

, each year when the Apple company releases a new iPhone, hundreds of individuals are going to purchase

this

Linking Words

product and replace the old one. In conclusion, in the era of proving status and overconsumption, an increasing number of residents consider shopping a crucial part of their lives only for depicting their wealth or catching up with trends.

filwayyTue Nov 07 2023

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task response

In future essays, ensure that you fully address the prompt by providing a balanced response and covering all aspects of the question. Provide a clear thesis statement and ensure your ideas are well-supported with relevant examples.

coherence cohesion

The essay demonstrates a clear structure and logical progression of ideas. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more developed to provide a stronger frame for the essay. Ensure that the essay is well-organized with clear topic sentences and supporting details for each main point.

lexical resource

Vary your vocabulary and use more precise and accurate expressions. Use a wider range of vocabulary related to the topic and aim for more formal and academic language. Additionally, ensure that the choices of words and phrases enhance the overall quality of the essay.

grammatical range

The essay shows a good command of complex structures and a range of sentence types. However, there are instances of awkward or inaccurate phrasing that affect the clarity and fluency of the writing. Focus on sentence structure, accuracy, and punctuation for improved grammatical range.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

273 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

consumerism
leisure pursuit
shopping centers
online shopping platforms
purchase decisions
thrill of finding deals
retail therapy
emotional outlet
advertising
marketing
aspirational activity
cultural shifts
social media
entertainment offerings

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Shopping has developed from a necessary activity to a kind of entertainment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people like to work in teams. Others prefer to work alone. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep course? What can be done about lack of sleep?

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children letter in their life. What are the reason? Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Students should pay the full cost for their own study , because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?