IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In recent years, many local shop owners have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development?

#years #shop #owners #customers #travel #centers #malls #development
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Nowadays, it seems that many local
shops
Use synonyms
 have closed because of the competitive market conditions.
Although
Linking Words
malls
Use synonyms
 are located far away, they pass local
shops
Use synonyms
 because of their many advantages, they use their advantage especially different goods and the condition of the buildings.
In other words
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, it seems that parking the car quickly the stability of inner air temperature and the many special design areas for kids are the top issues for selection.
This
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 article will demonstrate the negative effect of large shopping centres on the local
shops
Use synonyms
 and explore additional suggestions and recommendations taken from various views. As a large quantity of purchasing process, large shopping centres represent their goods to customers cheaper.
In other words
Linking Words
, if you buy something in very big quantities, its price starts to decrease and
malls
Use synonyms
 give really good conditions and opportunities to their customers. The varieties of the stock they have and the quantities
also
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 seem uncompetitive.
As a result
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 of
this
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, if they sell the same goods, they will earn much more than local
shops
Use synonyms
.
In addition
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, local
shops
Use synonyms
' income decreases because of the
malls
Use synonyms
, and they will not hesitate their shop for children anymore.
As a result
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 of unsustainable policies of price, they try to sustain local
shops
Use synonyms
. Many governments try to help them, they close the
malls
Use synonyms
 on weekends at least. Taken alternatives do not use very long time but, ı appreciate governments behaviour. In conclusion, the globalisation of the world is growing with incredible acceleration,and I should find a way to create value in these
shops
Use synonyms
. They must use different methods for living in the future. We
also
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 support these to do shopping there.
Submitted by salihzekikoni on

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task response
The essay provides a partial response to the task. The main points are somewhat relevant to the topic but lack clear development and depth.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure, and the introduction and conclusion are underdeveloped. There is a lack of cohesion in linking ideas and presenting a coherent argument.
lexical resource
The essay exhibits a limited range of vocabulary and fails to demonstrate precise word choices or effective use of synonyms. There are also errors in word usage and collocation.
grammatical range
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including tense usage, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. There is also inconsistent and fragmented use of both simple and complex sentence structures.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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