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Band 6

In recent years, many local shop owners have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development?

#years #shop #owners #customers #travel #centers #malls #development
Nowadays, it seems that many local
shops
 have closed because of the competitive market conditions.
Although
malls
 are located far away, they pass local
shops
 because of their many advantages, they use their advantage especially different goods and the condition of the buildings.
In other words
, it seems that parking the car quickly the stability of inner air temperature and the many special design areas for kids are the top issues for selection.
This
 article will demonstrate the negative effect of large shopping centres on the local
shops
 and explore additional suggestions and recommendations taken from various views. As a large quantity of purchasing process, large shopping centres represent their goods to customers cheaper.
In other words
, if you buy something in very big quantities, its price starts to decrease and
malls
 give really good conditions and opportunities to their customers. The varieties of the stock they have and the quantities
also
 seem uncompetitive.
As a result
 of
this
, if they sell the same goods, they will earn much more than local
shops
.
In addition
, local
shops
' income decreases because of the
malls
, and they will not hesitate their shop for children anymore.
As a result
 of unsustainable policies of price, they try to sustain local
shops
. Many governments try to help them, they close the
malls
 on weekends at least. Taken alternatives do not use very long time but, ı appreciate governments behaviour. In conclusion, the globalisation of the world is growing with incredible acceleration,and I should find a way to create value in these
shops
. They must use different methods for living in the future. We
also
 support these to do shopping there.
Submitted by salihzekikoni on

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task response
The essay provides a partial response to the task. The main points are somewhat relevant to the topic but lack clear development and depth.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure, and the introduction and conclusion are underdeveloped. There is a lack of cohesion in linking ideas and presenting a coherent argument.
lexical resource
The essay exhibits a limited range of vocabulary and fails to demonstrate precise word choices or effective use of synonyms. There are also errors in word usage and collocation.
grammatical range
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including tense usage, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. There is also inconsistent and fragmented use of both simple and complex sentence structures.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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