Some argue that music mainly serves as a way for individuals to reduce their stress and anxiety. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#argue #music #individuals #stress #anxiety

Many

people

believe that the ultimate purpose of

music

is to improve their mental well-being.

While

I agree with

this

statement, I believe that the benefits of

music

are multifaceted.

This

essay will present my viewpoint

along with

pertinent data. On the one hand, I believe that

music

helps

people

to lower their stress and anxiety.

This

is to say that

music

is one of the popular leisure activities among many of us and we would like to unwind from the stresses of everyday lives by listening to our favourite

music

as it is considered to be the ultimate way to relaxation.

In addition

while

listening to

music

it calms your mind and body which in turn lowers your nervousness.

For instance

, these days many healthcare centres are using

music

as their vital therapy sessions in order to improve their patient's

overall

health.

On the other hand

, I believe that it plays a vital role in learning and development.

In other words

, learning

music

develops the ability to grasp new languages and improve communication skills.

Furthermore

, it has been proved that it helps

people

improve their pattern recognition skills and teaches kids discipline.

For example

, the government in Western countries are focusing on inculcating mandatory

music

classes for children considering its significance.

To conclude

although

music

serves as a way to reduce stress and anxiety, it has ample benefits in terms of the cognitive and intellectual development of

people

. We should not limit the purpose confining to health and everyone must enjoy the enormous benefits of

music

Submitted by jeeanay on Tue Nov 07 2023

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Task Response

Ensure that each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the question to fully cover the task requirements.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay has a clear logical structure with a well-developed introduction and conclusion. However, ensure that each body paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument and maintains coherence throughout.

Lexical Resource

The essay displays a good range of vocabulary and uses a variety of words and phrases effectively. Work on incorporating more advanced vocabulary to enhance the lexical resource.

Grammatical Range

There is evidence of a good range of complex structures and accurate use of grammar. However, be cautious of minor errors in punctuation and sentence structure.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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