Influence of human beings on the world's ecosystem is leading to the exitnction of species and loss of biodiversity What are the causes of loss of biodiversity ? What solutions can you suggest ?

Nowadays, a lot of
animals
do not exist and many different species have become rare to find. Human beings destroy habitats and cause a loss of biodiversity
due to
the world's development.
This
essay will discuss all of the factors and will draw my personal solution. There is no doubt that there are lots of causes that remove
wild-life
Correct your spelling
wildlife
show examples
such
as killing
animals
for fun or
to make
Change the verb form
making
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an investment for clothes or food
also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
making new cities or building toxic companies.
For example
, oil and gas companies are the most harmful things
for
Change preposition
to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
plants and
animals
due to
the fact that they have to build them in remote areas which is mostly
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
desert and forest which lead to a negative impact on living organisms.
However
, oil and gas rigs are crucial for the development. In conclusion, after a careful analysis of all the reasons we could say that the solution is the replacement.
In other words
, these habits can be replaced with an eco-friendly way
such
as solar batteries and
non-
Correct word choice
non-animal
show examples
animals
products.
For instance
, we can use electric cars
instead
of gasoline cars and we can use fake leather rather than animal leather
also
we must know that
animals
have the right to live too.
Submitted by elshamrifawaz on

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task response
The essay lacks in-depth analysis and does not fully address the causes and solutions related to the loss of biodiversity. The examples provided are vague and lack specific details.
coherence and cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. The logical structure of the essay is weak, and the points are not well-organized.
lexical resource
The lexical resource is limited, and the use of vocabulary is not appropriate for an academic essay. There are errors in word choice and expression of ideas.
grammatical range
The essay lacks grammatical accuracy and contains multiple errors in sentence structure, verb agreement, and preposition use. Punctuation and sentence formation need improvement.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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