IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city.

#countries #university #students #home #study #city
University
 students from some countries choose to either stay in their current residential area where as some students prefer to attend a
university
 in a different city of their choice. Attending a
university
 would be beneficial for personal growth.
For example
, learning how to maintain your bills. Living on your own at a younger age is widely proven to have benefits, as you meet new people along the way and learn problem-solving on your own. Studying away from home
also
 means you get access to a wide range of universities with more growth possibilities.
However
, there are important factors to discuss before making the decision to study in a different city. Maintaining a job at the same time as attending a
university
 is not for everyone and certainly not always possible. A lot of families can't afford to pay for the full course, so students must meet the requirements to get government funding. In the current economic state and housing situation, it would be very hard to find a place to stay. On another note, there is no guarantee that you will like the area and will find it easy to make new friends. In my opinion, it's a very beautiful opportunity and it will grant you an experience of a lifetime if you have the right sources of income,
as well as
 being lucky enough in the current financial economy.
However
, it doesn't outweigh the stress and financial problems you will put yourself in. As of right now, there are too many problems included to grant a positive experience.
Submitted by mila.vanerkelens on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve task achievement, aim to provide more detailed and specific examples to support your main points. This will help illustrate your arguments more effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay can benefit from a clearer introduction that explicitly states the intention and direction of your arguments. This will help set the stage for the reader.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the conclusion to ensure it captures the essence of your arguments in a more concise and impactful manner.
task achievement
You have addressed the topic and provided a balanced view by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of studying in another city.
coherence cohesion
The points are logically organized and connected, making it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.
task achievement
Your writing exhibits a good range of sentence structures and vocabulary, which aids in clear communication of your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • finance management
  • exposure
  • broaden horizons
  • open-minded
  • adaptability
  • conducive environment
  • isolation
  • homesickness
  • financial burden
  • household duties
  • academic responsibilities
  • personal growth
What to do next:
Look at other essays: